It has been so hard on me. My feelings for food have gone from obsession to a point I am always eating to now where I fear it and it is all I can do to eat 500 calories worth of food. I hate eating and I feel like no matter how much I work out or how hard or how much I mix my routine up, it is not enough, I feel like I am not losing weight. The fat is there. I see it, Ana sees it, and so does my friend who is competing with me to reach our goal weight to take away some of the stress of life. Maybe a gym? I still am afraid to go running, no one should see me, I am not worthy yet. So until I deem myself worthy I will stick to indoor chaos. May all Hell break loose when I work out tonight.
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