Tips: Burn More Calories

• Spice anything you have to eat with cayenne or crushed red pepper (soup, salad, anything)
• Opt for more protein than carbohydrates , you burn like 20 calories for ever gram digested
• Stand whenever possible, move around while you stand (this will add up)
• Sit up straight when you sit, you burn more calories like that
• breathe in deeper 
• pay attention in school, using your brain burns calories
• Take your time, if you have to bring dishes to the kitchen from your room make it into 3-4 trips instead of 1
• Stay cold, drink ice cold water, suck on ice
• Sugar free gum, you can burn the 5 calories in it easily, for every hour you chew gum you burn a few extra calories 
• black coffee to speed the metabolism (caffeine)
• Take vitamin D
• Sleep more (7-9 hours) lack of sleep slows your metabolism down, you also burn calories sleeping and can't eat. 
• Wear a basic pedometer
• Move briskly like your out of time / late for everything.
• Laugh
• Eat breakfast instead of a big lunch/dinner 
• Time yourself, spend at least 5-15 minutes per hour moving around
• Fill up on fiber
• Go out of your way and take the stairs / your bike
• Fidget

You can burn up to 350 more calories a day than someone who remains stationary

• Stash flats in your bag (you can walk faster this way, just put your heels on later)
• Don't eat late at night
• Straighten up
• Drink more
• Beware of sugar
• Squat
• Chew gum
• Sleep better
•  Walk and talk
• Switch sides if your carrying anything heavy to work more muscles
• Pick up the pace, listen to fast-paced songs and MOVE
• Cook your own food
• Avoid eating lunch at your desk if you have to then have a bite and go for a walk
• Always carry a snack like almonds for emergencies
• Wear stilettos, high heels work to tone muscles in your calves and thighs
• Relax
• Watch less television
• Lift up on to your tiptoes just a bit (kind of like a bounce movement) you can do it everywhere
• Drink a few cups of strong green tea every day
• Work your legs a bit, if stuck sitting then do small knee lifts / bounce your leg
• Taking supplements with glutamine after meals burns an average of 20 more calories
• Eat the peel on fruits like apples and veggies
• You burn 300 calories an hour having sex.
•  Use coconut oil, you lose more body fat
• Drink oolong tea
• Don't snack in the car
• Swing your arms
• Clean up and really put your body into it, the more effort and stretching, the more calories you burn
• Don't forget low-fat dairy (low-fat yoghurt), it is believed to help prevent fat from being stored

Today's Update

I slept most of the day away though I did wake up 7 or so times and each time I went to the kitchen (because I was hungry) but, I didn't eat, but it was more so because I don't want to eat, not because I told myself I shouldn't. 

I love when I am like this, it is so easy to not eat; I honestly feel I could go weeks without eating and not once feel tempted. I just hope it lasts 

In a few hours (7) I will be on day 2 of my fast at like...9 am 

I have not been eating much these past few days anyway, the most I eat is in one meal per day and it is usually 400-600 calories for the entire day (still a lot of calories but not compared to my binge relapses). 

____________________________________________

Then again this could all be due to the pills I am taking, they're for my ear infection so they aren't diet pills or anything but whatever is in them has my appetite shot. 

I'm so sick of being this obese...thing, my disease has become me... it does not let me leave me house or hang out with friends.. I can't even go to my sister's house without contemplating every possible thing (feeling insecure the entire time, getting offered food or drink with calories and giving in...etc.) and yet I have nothing to show for it except fat fat fAT FAT FAT 

I haven't weighed myself in so long, and I am fucking petrified just thinking about it and the more I think, the more my body rejects the thought of food because I want to weigh myself but can't because I am afraid of the numbers and am hoping just one more day of dieting will make them go down before I see them.... 

Excuse this post, trying to practice my mediocre french

je suis d'apprentissage français

je ne sais pas beaucoup , mais je suis trying mon best

anyway

j'ai been listening to musique française et je found this superbe chanson de ce groupe appelé Eskemo ... Je suis seul...

je l'adore ! (the lead singer that is..)

voici quelques thinspo de lui

Oh don't touch me ;~~~; 

Listing things that make me sick for future ref.

• Ice cream
• Packaged meats (hamburger patties, chicken etc.)
• Bread (pizza, potpie crust, any bread basically..)

I don't really know much else that makes me sick, I only recently started documenting what foods I ate before I start to feel nauseous/in pain. 

In case you did not notice.. .I messed up my water diet earlier because my mother cooked me a burger patty (that sounds so disgusting?) and then I had to take my pills so I got a scoop of ice cream which was a bad idea so I used a slice of bread and oh dear god I wish I could throw up just to get this feeling of nausea to go the hell AWAY! I knew what this stuff did to me and yet I always binge on it!? UGH

Restarted at 11 pm something but decided to set it at 12 am so fast started at 12:00 am and its 1:24 am now.. Blrhgiohd

Water Dieting

Eugh I hate laxatives so much! They are literally my enemy unless I am super bloated! All they do is make me dehydrated and so very, very weak...tired.

I'm back on my water diet 

Figured I would call it that instead of a fast since I am not doing this for the health benefits what-so-ever. 

I do have 4 apples that I will allow myself one for dinner for the first four days, to make up for it I'll make sure to drink at least one cup of cayenne water a day as well. 

My stomach and thighs are most definitely bigger and I just ugh it is killing me and it is time to do something about it and stop moping about it. I don't need an Ana Buddy, I can motivate myself. 

Beware of Fruit Overload

Hello darlings, me again with some more somewhat helpful information you may or may not find useful! 

For today's lesson I will be telling you all about the dangers of:

• Too
• Much
• Fruit
• and

How

It 

Can

Make 

You 

FAT

Everyone knows that a balance of fruits and vegetables along with exercise is the key to losing tons of weight naturally and if you go an even further step to lets say...eat only fruit for an entire week or two you might lose even more weight!

Wrong...

My sister for the past few years has literally been an attractive bone, not one flab or jiggle even though she was not toned. No matter what she ate! Until... she began her health kick and so all she eats is salads, nuts, organic stuff, healthy snacks and fruit etc. She started gaining weight recently and after ruling out that it could be nothing but her diet she came to the conclusion she was eating too much "healthy foods" and not exercising enough to burn it all off..

Come to find out it was NOT her overall diet but in fact her FRUIT intake!

She was having fruit for breakfast, some times as snacks and she would eat fruit every day without working out enough to burn it all off and the reason this caused her to gain weight is because:

Fruit is basically made up of "healthy" (easily broken down by the body) sugar and water , while this is good in moderation or as the occasional snack/alternative snack too much with not enough exercise will cause you too put on weight really fast (I'm talking weeks). 

VEGETABLES on the other hand are a no-brainer, they are GOOD for losing weight as you can practically  eat your weight in almost any vegetable and be full and still have eaten very few calories.

ALSO....

Spice up veggies with cayenne pepper to lose even more weight.

Replace every snack you usually eat (crackers/popcorn/etc.) with low calories fruits/veggies...

The best fruit for weight loss:

• watermelon
• lemon
• lime
• green apple (with the skin on it) 
• Cantaloupe 

AVOID BANANAS AT ALL COST!!! 

More Excuses

Reasons why you're losing weight:

• "School/work is stressing me out lately that is all" 
• "It's the birth control/antidepressant they've got me on! I swear this stuff is the worst"
• "I have a cold, I am getting over it now though so I should be able to enjoy all the grub I want again!"
• "I had a big breakfast/late breakfast/big lunch/late lunch" 
• "Oh don't worry I ate before I came! Thanks though!"
•  "Can I wrap that up for later? I just had a huge binge fest on ____"
• "I'm actually going to pick something up on the way"
• "I'm going out for lunch/dinner"
• "I'm going out with friends so don't wait up!" 
• "I've got this really big paper in English due tomorrow, can I eat in my room just this once to finish?" 
• "I don't like _______"
• "I am allergic to _________"
• "________ makes my stomach hurt really bad for some reason."
• "I've got the worst headache, please the smell of it alone is making me sick!"
• "I swear it is all the running they have us do in gym, they work us like dogs!" 
• "What are you talking about? I am naturally thin!"
• "Uh maybe it is because I have a fast metabolism?"
• "Fuck off and stop worrying about my eating habits?"
• "Slow metabolism, ate a late breakfast so I won't be hungry until dinner!" 

TIPS:

• Drink diet fizzy drinks whenever possible, it fills you up and also causes slight bloating to make it look like you just ate.
• Drink lots of water and wear layers to add weight when you go to the doctor (if possible wear boots)
• Wear baggy clothes to hide weight loss 
• Celery is basically like eating air so eat it when hungry/before weigh-ins at the doctor
• Pretend to be bloated and have a tummy ache when you wake up in the morning and say "no more late night binges" this might get you out of breakfast.
• Grab a breakfast bar/apple and take a bite as you walk out the door and spit it out outside.
• Walk/Run everywhere, do lunges while you watch TV, bounce your leg when sitting
• Have a "cheat" day every month and focus on that every time you want to give in, if you give in you get no reward on cheat day (by cheat I mean bran muffin or something)

DO NOT FUCKING BRAG ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS OR YOUR DIET TO ANYONE!

EVEN IF YOU ARE "FAT" RIGHT NOW. 

ONE DAY YOU WILL BE THIN AND PEOPLE WILL BEGIN TO WORRY AND REMEMBER ALL THE CRASH DIETS YOU'VE DONE

Fainting/Nourishment Tips

My mother is right on the line to becoming a Type 2 Diabetic and so she buys these: 

They are 200 calories a piece (yes, it is a lot, but hold on and listen)

it contains: 

200 kcal is not a lot if it is for the entire day, it cuts out all of my cravings and desire to eat, fills me up, and makes it a LOT easier to be around sweets without ever once wanting to eat any.

AND because this is a diabetic drink it helps control blood sugar spikes and is a WONDERFUL alternative to binging (200 kcal drink or 2000 kcal binge?), it satisfies that chocolate fix and tastes great (it smells kind of blah though)

They are slightly expensive though and if you get a case you should only be drinking one every few days between fasts/restricting to prevent fainting/hair loss/brittle nails/hunger pain/ etc. 

Worst Sweet 16 Ever

So I had originally told myself to have no expectations for today and even without any expectations my family STILL managed to disappoint me and make this the worst day of my entire life. 

No, I am not talking about getting the wrong colour Ferrari or some pathetically selfish crap like that

My mother never came in my room before she left for work to say happy birthday, instead she sent it in a text. The card she left on the counter said nothing except "Happy birthday love mom, dad and the pups xxx" 

I won't even see her until 2-3 am when she gets off and by then my birthday will be over.

The one thing I asked for and they can't get it because they can't afford it due to my father's cigarette addiction and my mother's spending/gambling one. 

My sister did not even come over (she literally lives right down the freaking road) 

Not that I would eat it, I didn't even want one, but there was no cake, and when they asked what cake I wanted YESTERDAY (the day before) my mother was like "I bet she wants chocolate mmmm isn't that right" 

I hate chocolate cake!!!

I can't expect anything out of today, not a forced family dinner, cake, awkward birthday song, gift(s)... nothing... not even a mediocre movie with my family... I fucking hate them all 

All I wanted was for my mother to take off work and my sister to come over and spend the day with me, watch a movie together or go out to a bookstore or the boardwalk dammit I don't know! 

I am so depressed I thought my life would be so different... I thought I would have learned to drive by now, have braces by now, be pretty/skinny by now, my parents would know me by now...

Not one balloon.

While having parents who never pay attention to me may be good when it comes to Ana

...it sucks for everything else.