Workout Tips and..embarrassing

NOTICE: When I talk about working out or whatever in my Tips I am usually referring to running/walking on a treadmill/in a gym/outside, I don't do much else, but plenty of the tips will still apply to you if you don't do any of those. 

So first, before I post these tips  I am going to post my progress for today (as of right now it is 7:07 am); 

(also, I sleep from 11 am - 12 am so my meal times/workouts are in the am not pm)

What I ate: 

(you can skip past this if you want)

• cabbage soup - 13 calories
• Rice cake with salsa - 55 calories
• Gum - 5 calories
• 2 cookies - 107 calories
• chocolate - 60 calories
• chips - 140 calories
• Chocolate - 60 calories
• Chocolate - 60 calories
• Soup - 140 calories
• 1 cookie - 54 calories

Intake: 694 calories

Exercise: -700 calories

Net Intake: -6 calories

This is embarrassing but this is what happens if you aren't careful:

I know this is really personal and gross but no one said Anorexia was glamorous, but anyway I burned off 700 calories in a matter of an hour and a half or so (about 98 minutes), I was going 3.0 miles per hour until I reached -164, and for a cool down I decided I would slow it down to 2.0 MPH (I kept this up until I reached an even -700 calories) and when I stopped the treadmill and bent over to catch my breath...I freaking peed... thank G-d I had enough time to cross my legs and hold it in until I could run to my bathroom. Yeah...embarrassing...I don't have a problem with getting gas while on my treadmill (most people do), but I do have a problem with not feeling my bladder, apparently. So has anything like that ever happened to one of you? Maybe not peeing yourself, but anything embarrassing while working out. 

Anyway, yeah, I about passed out as well; I stared at myself in the mirror for like 5 minutes because I was confused and it felt like I was walking funny (or like the room was moving around me). It was awful, never want to do it again.

WORK OUT TIPS

(these are MY tips, do not post them anywhere without my consent)

Slow down, don't stop

Cramps & Other Pain:

• If your heart hurts, you're not getting enough oxygen; the heart is a muscle like any else, so if it is cramping you need to focus on your breathing (make sure you are breathing in as deep as you can through your nose and all the way out of your mouth).
• If your lungs hurt, do not stop! This is how you build endurance and strengthen your lungs; just like with your heart, you need to breathe in through your nose, out your mouth! If you are on a treadmill, for example, and going 3.5, then slow it down to 3.0 and hold that pace; your lungs should stop cramping if you are breathing properly. 
• If your upper spine/shoulders/neck hurt then it is not actually your spine but rather 1 of 3 things: your body is releasing stored toxins from your muscles, your body isn't used to moving these muscles or pinched nerves. Now, it is most likely going to be the second one, your body is not used to using these muscles (if you slouch a lot or just don't generally have a good posture), then of course they're going to be a bit sore during and possibly after you workout (usually this happens when walking/running). 
• If your fingers feel hot, thick, and like they have their own pulse then this is toxins/salt settling there; the quickest remedy is holding your arms up so your hands are above your head (wiggle your fingers around to get the blood flowing). To prevent this you need to cut salt out of your diet or decrease it significantly, drink lots of water an hour or two before you workout (make sure you pee it out first) and make sure you're getting enough water daily to flush out the toxins in your blood being released from organs and muscles (this increases when your workout). 

Breathing & Endurance:

• You might notice when your heart rate is up it feels like you're not getting enough oxygen, especially when you're trying to breathe in your nose; this is most likely because of the extra amount of blood being distributed through out your body, if you hold off on slowing down and continue to breathe deeply in your nose and out your mouth then your body will open up your nasal passage and you will experience the best of breathing in and out of your nose (your heart will even out its pace and you might feel swollen fingers which I'll get to in a minute).
• To build endurance you need to workout 60 minutes a day 4 to 5 times a week; if that is too long then bump it down to 30 minutes a day 5-6 times a week; and if that is too much time then bump it down to 15 minutes a day 6-7 days a week... if that is too much time from your day, then you're making excuses and don't really want to lose weight / get in shape.
• Also, you can be over weight and still be in better shape than a "skinny" person; so don't think you need to jump right into running to prove yourself; just start slow and in time you will be able to run no problem and the weight will just fall off. (If you ever watched "The Biggest Loser" there was an episode where this 230-280 pound man RAN on a treadmill for an hour, he did not jog or speed walk, he ran; that is something you work up to). 

How to Burn More Calories:

• Before every workout decide either how many calories you want to burn or how long you want to workout; this way you won't be able to talk yourself out of working before you've made any real progress. Remember to have realistic expectations of your body and its current condition, don't go to the gym expecting to burn 1000 calories if you haven't seriously worked out in a couple months. 
• Use my method of "plus 150", by doing this I decided I needed to stop trying to burn 1000 calories every time I got onto the treadmill, because it made the road ahead far too long and I'd only get discouraged and over do myself (which left me not wanting to workout for days or even weeks). What you do is on day 1 you burn 100 calories, and if you can continue, then add on 50; day 2 you burn 200 calories and if you can continue, then add on 50; you will continue this every day and you will be surprised how much easier it is to burn 400-500 calories a day. Remember, you don't have to push yourself the entire workout simply because you think that'll burn more, faster.. it won't, in fact it will probably burn you out and make you associate working out with displeasure.

Prevent Over Heating:

• Drink a bottle of water 30 minutes before you work out, and keep two bottles of water (or a big container of water) with you at all times during your workout.
• Wear light clothing (such as baggy shorts and a tank top), you don't need to buy hundreds of workout clothes so instead spend a pretty good bit of money on some workout capris/shorts and top that are a good quality material. The best are the ones that are breathable, and keep your sweat from evaporating (yes, they are more than likely going to stink a lot, but it will keep you cool).
• If you run outside then make sure you are somewhere with plenty of access to shade; if you run at the gym or on your own treadmill then have a couple of fans going and/or your door open for air flow. 
• Symptoms of heat exhaustion: dizziness, nausea, dehydration, light-headed, confusion, weakness, profusely sweating, muscle cramping, rapid heart beat (though that could be from working out).

Exhaustion/Soreness & Bulking Up

• No matter how advanced society gets with cosmetic surgery, workout techniques, or dietary fads...our bodies are still going to be animals living on instinct. Our minds are hardwired for survival, they (brains) are not stupid, even if you think they are. If you are not in immediate danger, your mind knows this and it will do everything it can to get you to slow down and conserve energy; this is why our bodies store food as fat, our brains don't realize there is no famine, no immediate danger coming at us, and so when we try to burn off all its resources it freaks out by making you feel weak, cramped, out of breath, and can even try to convince you to stop (Oh I can take a break, Oh I can just eat less, Oh I just will do it tomorrow). The best way to combat your mind is to find modern-day dangers to push yourself (what if there was a government take over and you were forced to survive in the wilderness, would you be able to? What if you were being chased by a murder, would you get away? What if...; if that does not work then get the app "Zombies, Run!", it combines your music playlist with a zombie story and there is nothing scarier then hearing zombies right behind you, despite knowing they aren't there)
• So when working out if you get to that point where you are just tired, weak, and feel like you are about to pass out... you need to stop for a moment. Take a deep breath, slow down your heart rate and then start again. You need to remember to SLOW DOWN; you do not ever stop. If your legs, lungs or heart is cramping then you are not breathing properly; don't try to breathe fast just because you feel you're about to suffocate, maintain an even pattern of deep breathing in your nose and out of your mouth. (I'll talk about this in the next section if you're interested in learning more).
• When you are sore the day after working out then you've made progress and should not workout until the soreness is completely gone! This could take one day or even a week depending on how hard you worked out (I got so sore once I almost cried every time I had to pee because it hurt to sit and stand up). Soreness is your muscles repairing themselves and getting stronger, and if you want to burn more calories and workout for longer periods of time, then you need to give your body a break; DO NOT be afraid of getting "bulky", building muscle speeds metabolism, re-wires your body so it no longer stores fat, but instead uses it for energy, and it helps you maintain your weight and keep off the weight you've lost. The only way you would get bulky is if you are eating huge amounts of protein every day and constantly pushing your body harder every time you work out (for instance if you got sore from lifting 15 lb dumbbells, you will not get more muscular unless you up it to 20 lb dumbbells the next time you workout, instead your muscles will lean out and burn the excess fat.)

Breathing & Your Nose

• I know you get sick of hearing "breathe in your nose and out your mouth", because I do too; I've heard that so many times it is almost the same is "an apple a day keeps the doctor away". Is there truth to this? Yes. While when I work out it occasionally feels like I am not getting enough air into my lungs (like I can't breath deep enough or fast enough, or like my nasal passage has closed a bit), I still manage to maintain a steady rhythmic breathing, and you know what? I never get thigh, leg or butt cramps any more and I hardly ever get lung cramps (when I do, it does not take long to get rid of them). 
• No matter how fast your heart is going, how badly you want to gulp down air by the gallon through your mouth, you must keep your breathing steady! I can't stress this enough! BREATHING properly is key to building endurance and having long, enjoyable workouts (thus burning more calories). 
• If your nose feels "thick" like there is not enough air getting through then you need to breathe slower; breathe as deep as you can in your nose and slowly out of your mouth (do not slow down your workout, I can breathe like I am meditating while going 3.5 MPH). If you don't know how to do this then pretend you are trying to slow down your heart rate, eventually your heart will actually slow down a bit (this is good), and the blood in your body will start distributing itself to where it needs to be (muscles), your nose should now feel clear and open, you should feel the air going up your nostrils and curving down towards your lungs. 
• If you smell iron/blood, and feel a pinching sensation in your nose, this is nothing to worry about; just keep breathing (try not to speed up your breathing or your nose will close up again).
• If your lungs are cramping, then you're not getting enough oxygen through your system; no muscle (including you heart) should be cramping when you are walking at 3.0-3.5 mph (I don't recommend going any speed higher than 3.5 unless it is 6.0 mph and higher; jogging is really bad for you).

Laziness/Wanting To Stop (don't over do it)

• If you cannot ever seem to get around to working out, then you need to find your motivation and just do it! If you ever eat from boredom, stress or any other emotion, then there are no excuses--you have time and the means for working out. Boredom, anger, depression are all motivation for working out.
• If you're working out and wanting to stop, then take a five minute break and come back to it; try a different exercise. If you hardly ever workout, and try to compensate by pushing yourself to your absolute limits every time you do, then you're going to burn yourself out. Exercising is nearly impossible if you are out-of-shape and trying to do what professional athletes do as a warm-up. You must start slow, no matter how frustrating it is or embarrassing; even if it makes you feel fat; just remind yourself.. if you go slow, you'll get in a longer workout and burn more calories whereas if you push yourself all at once, you'll burn only a little and not want to work out again for a really long time. 

My Motivations

• Good Music. When I workout, I find that my music is what determines how I feel throughout the entire time. If my music is slow or quiet, then I focus more on how tired, out of breath, exhausted I am; so when you workout make sure your music is loud enough that you cannot hear your own breathing (this is actually a thing, if you can hear yourself breathing, you're more than likely going to get tired quicker). You want your music to be fast and have a good beat/rhythm. Even if you are only walking slow, having a good soundtrack will motivate you to workout longer, and helps you build endurance by making you want to move faster with the music. (I usually listen to dubstep, but sometimes it is slow or I just get sick of it; songs like "Mr. Brightside by The Killers" and "Come and Get It by Selena Gomez" are great for working out. 
• Get angry or use memories/thoughts to propel you forward; anger works the best, especially if it is something that you can't usually express; think about all the times you've been embarrassed by your weight, all the times your weight has made you miss out on life, all the times you've cried over your weight and so on. I usually think about my mother joking about my weight, how angry I am when clothes don't fit or how with every step I am getting lighter. Exercise is a healthy coping mechanism, use this time to escape to your own world instead of letting it be just another dreadful thing on your to-do list. Cry, laugh, get angry, talk to yourself, yell at the world, whatever... just make working out a positive experience, one that leaves you feeling peaceful and then you'll start turning to that for comfort instead of food. 
• Most of the time when I work out and I want to quit I tell myself "just get to 200, then you can stop", but then I feel like I didn't really do anything, so I push to 300... and everyday it gets easier and easier to burn off 100, 200 and 300 calories, and every day that I continue to push myself longer (not harder) if another day that I am making count. 
• Think about how far away summer vacation is, swimsuit season; think about your birthday or new years... do you REALLY want to face another year of being disappointed in yourself because you wasted another year on being fat? Your youth is NOW, and if you wait too long, then you'll regret it forever. 

Reminders:

• "It is hard"; no one said it would be easy losing weight; if you want easy, then go ahead and eat your pizza and chocolate and forget about your goals, but do not complain about being fat or unhappy  with yourself to anyone, no one likes people who do that. 
• Loud, fast music, and a reason to fight will ensure an amazing workout for you; distract yourself when you workout not by thinking of bikinis or toned thighs (unless that works for you), but instead focus on your anger for letting yourself get to where you are (anger, when strong enough, has the same effect as adrenaline; it will numb all the sensors your brain sends out telling you that you're tired, and it actually renews your energy; by the time you finish working out you will not be angry anymore, and you'll feel a lot better). Remember: only the fittest will survive. 
• "Slow down, don't stop"; always START and END your workouts slowly; you need to give your body a chance to warm up (don't stretch before walking/running); and you want to give yourself something to look forward to with every workout. What do you think will create a longer, more successful workout: looking forward to stopping and passing out on the bed, or slowing down a bit to catch your breath? I find that I am 20 times more tired and ready to stop when I am focused on ending my workout (especially when I am minutes/seconds away from the end), but when I am focused on the small period where I get to slow down then my body is not freaking out and completely focused on passing out because it knows it will have a cool down.  You CAN have short bursts in your workout if you want, but if you want to have a long workout then you probably shouldn't. 
• "Unless you puke, faint, or die keep going" - Jillian Michaels 
• "Let everything motivate you, not set you back" if you binge, if something is too tight, if you had a bad day, if you failed your "diet" etc. then don't let that discourage you or convince you to give up on that diet or whatever; use that to motivate you to keep going when you're working out, and use that experience as a future reference for the next time you want to binge/snack/mess up. 

Good luck, darlings xxx

Current

Sunday: 200 calories

Monday: 200 calories

Tuesday: 0 calories

Wednesday: 0 calories

Thursday: 200 calories

Friday: 0 calories

Saturday: 200 calories

It is actually quite easy for me to "not eat" than it is for me to try and restrict to a certain number of calories; It is so hard to fight that insufferable urge to binge when I break a fast. It is not even that 200 calories doesn't fill me up for the day, because on any given day I can eat 1 chip and be happy with that, but when I fast and then go into a restricting day.. oh my gosh

 I already have my eating planned out and I am hoping that I can go to sleep as soon as I finish so that way I cannot eat anything afterwards, and when I wake up I will take an adderall to cut off my appetite... 

oh and a tip from personal experience: 

If you Binge a lot on Low Calorie Diets:

I know you don't want to hear this but...you need to start at a reasonable calorie intake. If you have been eating in the recommended 2000-1200 calorie range, then how do you expect your body to just magically adjust to a strict and restrictive diet? It won't, it will retaliate out of fear and make you binge. 

There are 2 scenarios:

• You eat 1200 calories every day for a week, and cut 200 calories from that number as the weeks go by, thus your stomach will start shrinking...leading to you requiring less and less food; You will work your way down to 200 calories a day and find that, that is actually the perfect amount for you and you will lose lots of weight. 

Or

•  You can get impatient, after years of binging, and eating 2000 calories you decide you want to jump right into eating 200 calories a day and it leaves you ravenous for more so you do everything you can to distract yourself, but you give in. This is too hard, you think; so you give up and go back to your old eating habits.

Which scenario do you want? Be patient, you did not put the weight on over night, and it isn't coming off that way either. Just because you fast or immediately go down to 200 calories after a 2000 calorie diet does not mean you will automatically shed the weight right off.. you will more than likely just put it back on and then some. 

Just saying <3

The Virgin Diet

Pretty sure I already talked about this, but, much like every other diet, I am giving it its own post.

The Virgin Diet

Length: 21 days [3 weeks]

I am pretty sure you can vary the length of this to suit your own preferences. 

Basics

You are giving up the top 7 controversial foods/food groups in which nutritionists, dietitians, and food scientists have agreed are possibly the root cause for women's inability to lose weight or, rather, our problem with holding onto weight more so than men.

7 Foods to Avoid

• Sugar & Sweeteners
• Soy
• Eggs
• Dairy
• Gluten
• Corn
• Peanuts
• 
  

Guidlines:

• Eat unprocessed, whole, natural foods that are humanely and naturally raised as much as you can; if this is not a possibility then eat more fruit/vegetables than anything else.

1-2 meals a day are shakes – Virgin Diet Shakes [you still lose weight and feel healthier with or without the shakes, as long as you are getting enough vitamins in your food]

• Challenge (reintroduce and check reactions) with dairy and eggs to see if there are any reactions and how frequently you can reintroduce them into your diet (in other words, introduce the "avoid" foods very slowly and monitor all reactions such as bloating or abdomen cramping)
• Challenge with gluten and soy to see if you should avoid them completely
• Continue to avoid foods you’re intolerant to and regularly check your intolerance

You should drop weight pretty rapidly [on average it is 1-2 pounds a day the first week and then about 5-7 pounds a week after that.] 

My sister's aunt is on this and it is very noticeable how much weight she has lost, and she was already very very tiny! So that proves that even if you are at that point where you only have like 10 or so pounds to lose and it seems impossible to burn it off: this diet is for you!

Still Missing; and...Maid of Honour???

My uncle is still missing, and sadly my grandma has yet to file the missing persons report.

 

 

On another stress-inducing note, my sister's wedding is coming up in a year and a half, and we are going dress-looking this May! THIS May...

 

3 months to get my shiznit together and lose it; I am going to take aderrall like crazy and workout like I am preparing for battle; I will not , repeat, NOT going to be a fat maid of honour. NOT bridesmaid, no, I am a maid of HONOUR. Right next to the bride in all the pictures and in front of the crowd! Lord have mercy on my trapped skinny soul.

 

 

At least this superficial worrysome takes my mind off of the important things at hand. It brings me peace to focus on calories and weight and numbers and inches... instead of what's around me, the tangible pain of life.

 

This is seriously how I see myself in pictures when next to my sister

 

 

I am not exagerating. No matter how "skinny" or "pretty" I may look in a photo according to anyone... if I am next to my sister, I am big and round and that is the end of it.

 



Red Cabbage Soup

22 grams is 0.776027 ounces [1 oz.] or 0.0970034 cups 

but let us not get technical here

22 grams of red cabbage is only 6 calories. SIX. S-I-X

One cup of chopped red cabbage has 28 calories

And 2 large heads of red [purple] cabbage makes enough to feed 1-3 people for days 

Average Cost of Meal:

2 large heads: $2.00-$4.00
**Seasonings: approx. $6.00-$10.00

Total for meal without seasonings: maximum - $8.00 [tax included]

AVERAGE: $2.00 per day [the soup should last you 4 or more days, and thus would be a $2.00 meal or cheaper the longer the soup lasts you]

**only have to buy once until you run out

ALSO!!!! You can buy one purple head of cabbage and one green because green is cheaper [but without all the benefits], it does not affect the overall end taste of the soup.

NUTRITION (benefits):

The author of all the information in italics is Sandi Busch 

"The red pigment comes from plant-based chemicals called flavonoids, while the sharp flavor is the result of sulfur-based compounds. In addition to these important phytochemicals, cabbage contributes to your overall health with fiber and a range of vitamins and minerals.

Insoluble fiber from red cabbage prevents constipation, lowers the risk of developing diverticular disease and helps relieve the symptoms of some gastrointestinal conditions, such as irritable bowel syndrome. 

I've yet to meet or talk to a person with an eating disorder that doesn't have trouble with pooping. Don't lie, you know you struggle with it sometimes.

 1 cup of chopped red cabbage has 56 percent of the recommended daily intake of this important vitamin. As an antioxidant, vitamin C fights inflammation and protects cells from damage that leads to chronic health conditions, such as heart disease. Your body needs vitamin C to make collagen, which is the connective tissue that gives structure, strength and support to muscles, skin, bones and other tissues throughout the body. Collagen is also essential for the process of healing wounds. Vitamin C also strengthens the immune system by stimulating the production of white blood cells that fight invading bacteria and infections.

So essentially, this is the miracle food for bulimics and anorectics due to the protection from heart disease, and the fact the Vitamin C helps with the production of collagen which helps all the things that eating disorders destroy [skin, muscles, bones and immune system]

 It takes a series of chemical reactions to make blood clot. Seven proteins that participate in blood clotting depend on the presence of vitamin K to complete their part of process. Other vitamin-K-dependent proteins regulate bone mineralization. Long-term deficiency in vitamin K increases the risk of developing osteoporosis, atherosclerosis and cancer, according to research published in the April 2012 issue of “Food and Nutrition Research.” You’ll gain 28 percent of the recommended daily intake of vitamin K from 1 cup of chopped red cabbage.

Another long-term side effect from eating disorders is osteoporosis.

Red cabbage belongs to the cruciferous, or Brassica, family that includes broccoli, turnips and Brussels sprouts. Cruciferous vegetables are the only source of sulfur-containing compounds called glucosinolates that are responsible for their bitter flavor. Glucosinolates are digested into isothiocyanates that reduce inflammation and fight bacteria. The red pigment comes from a flavonoid, cyanidin, that functions as an antioxidant. Both cyanidin and the isothiocyanates prevent some types of cancer by stopping the growth of cancer cells, inhibiting enzymes that activate carcinogens and helping cells repair damage caused by carcinogens. In April 2012, Vanderbilt University Medical Center released research results showing that breast cancer survivors who ate more cruciferous vegetables reduced their risk of dying by 62 percent. 

Sources:
Healthy Eating


My Father's Recipe
[please click pictures if you cannot see them very well]

What you'll need:

• a BIG pot
• 2 *large* heads of purple [red] cabbage; these should be the size of your head.
• Caldo con Sabor de Pollo [chicken seasoning] 

• Tony Chachere's 

• Cavenders 

• Garlic Powder

PREPERATION

• measure out 12 cups of water and pour them it into the pot
• 1 teaspoon of "chicken seasoning" per cup of water [in this case: 12 teaspoons]
• 1 teaspoon [tsp.] of Cavenders, garlic powder, Tony Chachere's

1. Turn the stove on LOW heat 
2. cut cabbage while the liquid heats up [get the core out if you don't want it]
3. slowly turn up heat once you have all the cabbage in the pot

DO NOT worry about the cabbage filling up the entire pot it WILL go down

• cook until cabbage is soft [personal preference, I usually eat it rather soft]

This does take a little bit of time to cook and prepare but with time it becomes easier, and the soup is so delicious it probably won't even matter!

DO NOT DRAIN THE LIQUID

THIS IS WHERE **ALL** THE NUTRIENTS AND FLAVOUR WILL BE !!!

BEST EATEN WITH:

BOILED EGGS

My sister and I love biting the boiled egg [gently] in half, putting the yolk into the soup to soak up some of the flavor and using the "bowl" shaped egg white to scoop soup into and eating it like that; sounds weird but oh my gosh it is SO good!

Beware of Fruit Overload

Hello darlings, me again with some more somewhat helpful information you may or may not find useful! 

For today's lesson I will be telling you all about the dangers of:

• Too
• Much
• Fruit
• and

How

It 

Can

Make 

You 

FAT

Everyone knows that a balance of fruits and vegetables along with exercise is the key to losing tons of weight naturally and if you go an even further step to lets say...eat only fruit for an entire week or two you might lose even more weight!

Wrong...

My sister for the past few years has literally been an attractive bone, not one flab or jiggle even though she was not toned. No matter what she ate! Until... she began her health kick and so all she eats is salads, nuts, organic stuff, healthy snacks and fruit etc. She started gaining weight recently and after ruling out that it could be nothing but her diet she came to the conclusion she was eating too much "healthy foods" and not exercising enough to burn it all off..

Come to find out it was NOT her overall diet but in fact her FRUIT intake!

She was having fruit for breakfast, some times as snacks and she would eat fruit every day without working out enough to burn it all off and the reason this caused her to gain weight is because:

Fruit is basically made up of "healthy" (easily broken down by the body) sugar and water , while this is good in moderation or as the occasional snack/alternative snack too much with not enough exercise will cause you too put on weight really fast (I'm talking weeks). 

VEGETABLES on the other hand are a no-brainer, they are GOOD for losing weight as you can practically  eat your weight in almost any vegetable and be full and still have eaten very few calories.

ALSO....

Spice up veggies with cayenne pepper to lose even more weight.

Replace every snack you usually eat (crackers/popcorn/etc.) with low calories fruits/veggies...

The best fruit for weight loss:

• watermelon
• lemon
• lime
• green apple (with the skin on it) 
• Cantaloupe 

AVOID BANANAS AT ALL COST!!! 

Fainting/Nourishment Tips

My mother is right on the line to becoming a Type 2 Diabetic and so she buys these: 

They are 200 calories a piece (yes, it is a lot, but hold on and listen)

it contains: 

200 kcal is not a lot if it is for the entire day, it cuts out all of my cravings and desire to eat, fills me up, and makes it a LOT easier to be around sweets without ever once wanting to eat any.

AND because this is a diabetic drink it helps control blood sugar spikes and is a WONDERFUL alternative to binging (200 kcal drink or 2000 kcal binge?), it satisfies that chocolate fix and tastes great (it smells kind of blah though)

They are slightly expensive though and if you get a case you should only be drinking one every few days between fasts/restricting to prevent fainting/hair loss/brittle nails/hunger pain/ etc. 

22, April

Does it make me "overly dramatic" or "out of line" to get pissed off and tell my mother to keep her hands off of me? Like I am so sick and tired of her thinking it is "funny" to shove me out of the way, when in fact she is shoving me out of anger or annoyance and then when she sees I am mad pretends she was "just messing". Seriously, it is simple, just keep for hands off of me or I will put my hands on you. 

_______________________________________

I was REALLY tired today, my sister called and woke me at noon (12 PM) and picked me up, we then hung out at her house until about 5-6 PM before she brought me back, I ate and then fell asleep again until like 7 or 8 and then ate again hoping to maybe get some energy from that and some diet mountain dew.

Good News: I have energy

Bad News: I am nauseated beyond belief and over heated

I burned a whopping 60 calories before my legs began to get sticky/dry from rubbing together in my humid room (can't wait for that thigh gap so I can run with ease). I feel very bloated and icky so will probably take a laxative or something and stick to water tomorrow, I don't know, we will see how I feel.

_______________________________________

Friday...The 24 of May to be exact is only 31 days from now and I want to have noticeably lost weight for my brother's graduation. I am really not far now, my waist is smaller, my thighs leaner and my upper arms more toned. I have been burning off enough calories after I eat to keep my metabolism moving, so it all really just boils down to how much I eat.

I have been pretty good with eating 1 apple a day and very little calories through out day (which add up to a bunch by the end) instead of gorging myself randomly. I find I also think less about it, but as a consequence: am afraid to weigh myself, and am not as worried about what I am spending those calories on.

So I plan to go back to eating specific foods from my list and intermittent fasting-- I can stay motivated, I can, I can-- I just need to stop feeling bad when people offer me food they paid for or cooked and I cannot eat it. 

My personal diet plan

Allowed Foods:

©       Edamame (150 calories Per serving)

©       Green Apples (80)

©       Baby carrots (70)

©       Tomatoes (22)

©       Chia seeds (65)

©       Mustard (0)

Allowed Drinks:

©       Water (0)

©       0 calorie drinks (0)

©       Cayenne and/or lemon water

~Rules~

©       No eating before 5pm or after 7pm

©       Can only eat if really hungry or low on energy

©       Must walk 15-20 minutes after every meal

©       Must burn at least 100 calories (not counting after-meal walks)

©       No exceeding 300 calories a day

©       For every 10 pounds you lose, you can have 1 food reward (nothing over 500 calories)

©       Must do leg and core workouts every day

©       Must fast at least once a week

©       Can only weigh-in on Sundays and Thursdays
© You are allowed food off the list in moderation (and in SMALL portions)

~Not Allowed~

©       Binging  / “Free Days” (even if you mess up)

©       To give up

©       To get impatient

©    To consume over 300 calories in one day

©       Tell anyone about diet

Rewards:

(my list)

♥ 145 - Combat boots 

♥ 135 - A cute outfit (bottom photo on right?)

or outfit I put together xD

♥ 125 -  Cute underwear (matching lolololol)

♥ 115 - Swim suit, crop tops

♥ 105 - Jean shorts / high-waist shorts, tattoo, belly ring

♥ 95 - laptop

♥ 88 - a whole new wardrobe 

Today

Woke up late at like 1:10-ish PM

Had:

1 burger patty by itself : 320 calories

1/3 cup of stuffing but 1 serving is 1/2 cup so just going by that: 160 calories

Total: 480

and I am done for the day. 

For those of you who did not look into that article:

Twinkie diet helps nutrition professor lose 27 pounds

His theory: "That in weight loss, pure calorie counting is what matters most -- not the nutritional value of the food"

Pro-Ana proves this point by how some people chose to take one bite of anything through out the day, eat bagels, only eat fruit, or have a monotone diet that they stick to for weeks and yet we all still lose or maintain our weight (unless we binge). 

The theory held up: On his "convenience store diet," he shed 27 pounds in two months

"Haub limited himself to less than 1,800 calories a day. A man of Haub's pre-dieting size usually consumes about 2,600 calories daily. So he followed a basic principle of weight loss: He consumed significantly fewer calories than he burned."

Obviously, you would not be consuming that much, here:

Normal intake --- New intake

1600         ---       800

1200         ---       400

1000         ---       200

He went down by 800 calories so that is exactly what I did, OBVIOUSLY you do not need to say right at 200 every single day, you can be flexible with that one especially if you are not going to be eating healthy, nutritious, energy boosting foods. 

IF you lower your calorie intake significantly like down to 200 for a daily calorie amount, make sure you are taking vitamins like Biotin, Omega 3, Daily vitamins (children vitamins for example), calcium etc. etc.

"Despite his temporary success, Haub does not recommend replicating his snack-centric diet."

"Two-thirds of his total intake came from junk food. He also took a multivitamin pill and drank a protein shake daily. And he ate vegetables, typically a can of green beans or three to four celery stalks."

Master Cleanse

I am starting this on 3, Feb. with another girl, if you would like to join let me know, we are going to do a group text so you must be in the US, thanks!!

If you have not heard of this then...Seriously do you even diet?

Okay so basically you prep your body for 3 days before the cleanse:

Day 1: 

eliminate processed foods and meat (basically stick to vegetables and fruit

Day 2: 

Begin juicing the fruits/vegetables  

Day 3: 

Orange juice only

The Master Cleanse: 

• 2 tbsp. Pure Maple Syrup (do NOT eat the syrup by itself)
• 2 tbsp. Fresh Lemon Juice (preferably buy bag of lemons, less expensive + better for results) 
• 1/10 tsp. Cayenne Pepper Powder (or as much as you can stand)
• 8 ounces of Pure Water

Once made: Drink immediately after or within 5-10 minutes, this is to prevent it from seeping and becoming too spicy to drink (caused by cayenne powder).

Drink Whenever Hungry/light headed 

 Try to drink 6-12 glasses a day

4-8 glasses a day for maximized weight loss* 

*Do not go under 4 glasses a day, you will not lose more weight

EASING OUT PREPARATION

Day 1:                                                                                                Orange Juice

Day 2:

Juicing, Blending, Soups, Broths

Day 3:

Organics (fruits, vegetables)

Anywho, the whole point of this post was to say me and my bestest Ana buddy are doing it together! I am excited! 

WEIGHT LOSS EXPECTATIONS

- Expect to lose 2 pounds a day, if you are overweight / have lots of weight you need to lose, prepare to watch the fat melt away! By the end of the 10 days you can expect to have lost 14-15 pounds

 (this varies person to person and how much you drank each day)

!!!!WARNING!!!!

-If you are UNDERWEIGHT then do not expect to lose ANYTHING you will, in fact, probably GAIN weight

Has anyone else... lost ana? Could have been for a few months, few weeks or even a few years. Not by choice, not for recovery, but simply because you developed binge eating or Ana turned into EDNOS? 

Ugh... October... Since freaking OCTOBER I have been binging, eating "normally", feeling guilty but without the ability to stop it. I hate myself. Can't stand looking at myself in the mirror. 

I want her..it.. back, like seriously this is literally KILLING me! Not having any control over it, basically blacking out or going numb as I stuff my face with everything I can get my hands on everyday, only to come to my senses and try to burn it off in any way I can. But it won't matter, I can burn those calories and then some, but you know as well as I, that when you eat, you feel fatter, heavier, uglier, and no amount of calories you burn off will change that, only days of gaining your self-control will. Ugh. I want to be hungry and starve, I want the numbers to drop. I miss it so much, I can't stop it. It is like a tidal wave crashing over me. 

WAH-SAH-BEE

Wasabi is a freaking God-send!

So I had never been inside until a few days ago but there is a 100% natural and organic health food store right up the road from my house and guess what they have? Wasabi SEAWEED!!!

I plan to fast like usual and only eat Wasabi seaweed (it is like 10$ a pack) because it is so expensive my parent refuse to buy me enough for a week. Much like every new food I try and fall in love with, this is what I want and all I want and I refuse to eat anything except for this! 

My sister says eating nothing but wasabi and spicy foods, as well as drinking lots of water and cayenne/lemon water will burn a LOT of fat.<3

Thanksgiving

I had imagined a few months ago that I would be at my UGW by now, not still struggling to be in the 130s.

I am scared, my loves, that I am not worthy of Ana anymore, not worthy to say I have an eating disorder because I have failed at everything I am good at. Why is it that the 5% of Anorexia that is binging has turned into a whopping 96% for these past TWO months? 

With Thanksgiving day after tomorrow, I am terrified because of all the food, I don't want it, oh god I don't want it, so overwhelmed by how much food will be there and my entire family on my mom's side all who will be annoyingly curious as to why I don't want to eat. My mom and sister will get annoyed, possibly pull me aside and tell me to cut it out that I have been eating normal for two months why am I doing this again, why I am I ruining thanksgiving, why am I making a scene? 

Ugh I just don't want to deal with it all!! I want my hunger back, my dropping numbers, my laxatives, my confidence boost every time I got off the treadmill and saw that my stomach was toning up little by little. 

Why cant anyone be here to slap me and tell me I don't want this food, I don't need this food! Because I don't want it and I don't need it but somehow that doesn't matter it is like my mind blanks out and its all I can do to not vomit the weeks screw ups all over my bathroom. 

________________________________________

Oh my god... ew! I went and threw ALL the sweets away, even shit that hasn't been opened, I then preceded to run on the treadmill for 30 minutes and burned 202 calories, I will finish the other 1800 in a minute. I just wanted to APOLOGIZE for my behaviour these past few months but I have finally gotten a hold of myself, I got the slap I needed and will be strong for everyone for here on out.

02, Nov., 2012

146.7 the angry red glow of those numbers burning into my eyes, into my skin.

I want to vomit my insides! How could I let this happen? How could I let myself maintain this disgusting weight? OBESITY will take me! It has its greasy, fattening claws in my back dragging me under, taking my control...

Watch this short film called "My Friend Ana" I watched the trailer over and over and over never able to find the full film and here it is, I found it for you :) 

You can go to keepvid.com and paste the link in that bar to download the video if you want to keep it, I did because it is the most triggering thing I have ever seen! Ugh lol I feel so guilty watching it, maybe it can help you too <3

28, Sept., 2012

Gave up on ABC diet now doing the Cabbage soup Diet (which I will explain at the end of post if you want to try it)... Because of its lack of calories it is not recommended to do it longer than a week. 

You can lose up to 11 pounds doing this diet, but I am aiming for 15-20+ since on certain days you eat veggies/fruits along with the soup and even have a meat day, I won't be doing that i will only be eating the soup all week, also I didn't use everything it called for (did not use: beef bouillon cube, peppers or beef broth) Lastly, will be drinking nothing but water on this, no coffee or tea or energy drinks. I plan to only do this for a week but perhaps I will do it longer if I am not too light headed or sick. 

Cabbage soup diet:

Instructions:
Eat as much cabbage soup as you desire for seven days and you can lose 10 to 15 pounds. The recipe varies slightly, but basically includes a variety of low-calorie vegetables such as cabbage, onions and tomatoes, flavored with bouillon, onion soup mix and tomato juice. Each day of the seven-day program has specific foods that must be eaten, including potatoes, fruit juice, many vegetables, and on one day, beef.




Day One:
Eat only fruit, all the fruit you want except banana.
Drink unsweetened tea, black coffee, cranberry juice and water.
Eat as much soup as you like.


Day Two:
All you want - fresh, raw or cooked vegetables of your choice.
Stay away from dry beans, peas and sweet corn.
Reward yourself with a big baked potato with butter for dinner.
Eat as much soup as you like, but no fruit for today.


Day Three:
Combine days one and two, eat as much fruit, vegetables and soup as you like but no baked potato.


Day Four:
Eat as many as eight bananas and drink as many glasses of skim milk as you would like on this day, along with your soup.
This day is supposed to lessen your desire for sweets.


Day Five:
You may have 10-20 ounces of beef (300-500g) and a large tin or up to six fresh tomatoes.
Drink at least 6 to 8 glasses of water this day to wash the uric acid from your body.
Eat your soup at least once today.
You may eat broiled or baked chicken (skinless) instead of beef. If you prefer, you can substitute broiled fish for the beef.


Day Six:
Eat beef and vegetables today.
You can even have 2 or 3 steaks if you like, with fresh vegetables or salad.
NO BAKED POTATO.
Eat your soup at least once.


Day Seven:
Brown rice, unsweetened fruit juices and vegetables all you want.
Be sure to eat your soup at least once to day.





Cabbage Soup Recipe


Ingredients:
1 - 46 oz. can V8 juice
1 - 14.5 oz. can of diced tomatoes
6 medium stalks of celery (approx. 1 cup)
1/2 medium cabbage, red or green (approx. 6 cups)
1 medium onion (approx. 1 cup) (Lillie prefers the sweet onions such as Vidalia)
6 medium carrots (Or pre-sliced to equal 1 1/2 cups)
2 medium green peppers (approx. 2 cups) (red and/or yellow can also be used)
1 envelope of Lipton Beefy Onion Soup Mix
1 - 14 oz. can Swanson's Lower Sodium Beef Broth
1 beef bouillon cube or package
1 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. black pepper... or to taste




Directions:
Chop and dice veggies. Add all ingredients into a large stock pot. Add water if necessary to bring liquids to almost twice the depth of the veggies in the pot. Bring to a boil, and stir as needed. Cook on low heat for about 2 hours... or until all the veggies are soft.
Other seasonings such as curry, parsley, or any other spices or herbs to suit your taste.
You may substitute Low Sodium V8 Juice and the resulting Sodium will be 321mg instead of 476mg per serving.




Recipe makes about 18 - 1 cup servings


Nutrition Facts per Serving (one cup):
Calories 50
Calories from fat 2
Total Fat 0.2g
Saturated Fat 0g
Cholesterol 0 mg
Sodium 476 mg
Total Carbohydrate 10.4g
Dietary Fiber 2.4 g
Protein 1.5g

Fast is going great... I am having trouble ingesting anything including water, my heart feels like it is going to burst free from my chest every time I even think about eating. My weight is creeping up and I am tired of that, getting fat is not an option. 

I want this so bad:

It is so perfect.... </3

24, August, 2012

Well I am back, sorry for disappearing on you all. 

Lately...I have been messing up, they are small slip ups but they happen through out the day every day and I am now 149 fuck-my-life.

I have been so stressed from school having way to much work to do, so many grades slipping down slowly simply from missing one or two points on a few tests. The added stress that if I fail ANY class I will not be a junior next year (11th grade). 

I have been so suicidal lately... I have not told anybody that... I guess I feel safer on my blog like it is my own little sanctuary where anyone that hears my secrets is bound to care or to at the very least have no way of trying to tell everyone I know about them. 

It is not a matter of if I am fasting but a matter of how long I am going to starve myself, until I feel worthy, how long I am willing to allow myself to go on. My mind is blank I am so weak and tired all of the time! When I workout my stomach churns and I am almost always doubled over from the pain inside of wanting to vomit.  

I don't feel pretty, I don't feel alive, I don't want to live like this. I hate myself so much, when I open my mouth those are the words that spill out. I had to catch myself when my mother said her goodbyes and that she loved me before heading off to work yesterday morning. 

There is nothing I could possibly want right now, not pizza, pasta, chocolate, bread, crisps... nothing. If not depression or Ana keeping me in this state then it is my complete and utter hate and revulsion towards meself that keeps me from eating, that keeps my curled in my bed, that keeps me in my room. It is all I can do to simply get out of bed and do my school work and plop back into my bed and wait for the sun to set and rise once more. 

I'll get through this though, in fact I KNOW I will get through this. Because I will not step on that damned scale until Sunday, and until then--I starve. 

15, August, 2012

I feel empowered some how, simply by looking at all the Pro-Ana blogs and Diary blogs of Anorectics... It is almost like we are a growing community growing stronger as we all push each other towards our one, common goal... A goal that we will never in a million years reach if we felt alone and unmotivated. 

I am so sick of feeling alone and like it does not matter if I screw up. It does matter, and I am not alone, there are so many people that say I inspire them when it is really you all who inspire me, to live, to keep going, to keep losing weight, to fucking fight. I just want to express my love to every single person that reads and or follows my blog, all the people that comment, all the people that have their own blogs, all of you inspire me to push myself harder every single day and to keep going without you all who knows where I would be right now. 

Fat burning Foods: A LONG post

COMMON SENSE TIPS: Stay away from processed foods, or foods high in fat. Stick to a healthy, clean diet that consists of a wide range of citrus fruits, vegetables, lean meats, and soy. 

Fat burning foods for women? Fat burning foods for men? Screw it, our bodies may be different but our digestive system and stomachs work the same (with the tiny variation of metabolism and caloric needs).

Here is a gigantic list of fat burning foods and tricks that you should definitely incorporate into your diet as soon as possible!

• A University of Tennessee study found that dieters who consumed 1,200 to 1,300 mg of calcium daily lost almost twice as much weight as dieters who ingested less calcium.  Calcium needs: age 9 to 18=1300 mg/day; age 19-50=1000 mg/day; over age 51= 1200 mg/day. Without vitamin D, your body cannot use calcium. Excess sodium (salt) can deplete your calcium levels. So drink lots of organic skim milk, or eat foods high in calcium such as: 

1. Fat-free American cheese slices (3 slices). Calories 90. Calcium 450 mg.

2. Yogurt, plain, low fat (1 cup). Calories 110. Calcium 415 mg.

3. Sardines with bones, no oil (3/4 can). Calories 100. Calcium 372 mg.

4. Collard greens (1 cup). Calories 11. Calcium 355 mg.

5. Skim milk (1 cup). Calories 90. Calcium 306 mg.

6. Orange juice fortified with calcium (1 cup). Calories 110. Calcium 300 mg.

7. Spinach, frozen (1 cup). Calories 30. Calcium 291 mg.

8. Turnip greens (1 cup). Calories 10. Calcium 252 mg.

9. Cottage cheese (1/2 cup). Calories 100. Calcium 160 mg.

10. Broccoli (1 cup). Calories 31. Calcium 158 mg.

BUT

DO NOT TAKE CALCIUM SUPPLEMENTS BECAUSE THEY CAN KILL YOU

• Whole grain cereal is a fab source of both complex carbs and fiber, and these are what’s needed to keep your metabolism pumped by keeping insulin levels low after a meal. Since insulin spikes make your body think it’s time to start storing the fat, eating foods that lower insulin levels makes sense. Stay away from white bread and cereals, stick to whole wheat/grain bread that looks like this:

 Obviously if bread is made from wheat, it should be the colour of wheat and you should be able to see the nutrients/ingredients. Check the label on your bread if you see "bleached/enriched flour" throw that nasty shit away and run! Stick to whole grain wheat cereals, breads, and pastas for maximum health.

• Oats are a rich source of fiber, which pumps up your metabolism. And since oatmeal breaks down slowly in your stomach, says AOL Health, it doesn't cause a big insulin spike the way carbs like bagels do. Oatmeal is typically eaten for breakfast, which is an important meal to consume for anyone who wants to burn calories. Eating this meal keeps insulin production down and revs up the daily calorie burn.

• Jalapenos contain a chemical called capsaicin, which not only gives peppers their pungent flavor but speeds up the heart rate and boosts the metabolism. They’re good for spicing up not just meals but snacks, too.

• Habaneros, extremely hot chilies peppers, are found both fresh and dried in spicy foods. A recent study from Laval University in Quebec found that men who consumed coffee and red pepper-packed snacks and meals burned almost 1,000 more calories a day than the control group, according to AOL Health.

• Pungent, bright red cayenne chilies are often ground into cayenne pepper, a typical ingredient in a spicy meal. One study found that eating just one spicy meal a day boosts metabolism by up to 25 percent, reports AOL Health. The calorie burn lasts for up to 3 hours after you stop eating.

• Green tea has a chemical called EGCG that causes the brain and nervous system to run faster and helps you burn more calories. EGCG works sort of like caffeine except that caffeine causes your heart to beat faster. Want a super boost of your metabolism? Try combining caffeine and a 90 mg.dose of EGCG three times a day and you can burn an additional 80 calories a day, AOL Health says. Researchers found this out, along with the great news that you don’t have to engage in exercise for this to happen; it occurs when your body is at rest.

• Coffee contains caffeine, which helps speed up your heart rate and thus helps you burn more calories, reports AOL Health. And this benefit comes in coffee of all kinds, whether it’s iced, hot or in a mocha smoothie. Of course, the hundreds of calories in a sugar and fat-rich blended coffee drink can negate whatever heart-quickening benefit the coffee in caffeine imparts, so you may want to consider using skim milk and using honey as a natural sweetener.

Summary:

1. Caffeine
2. Peppers, spices (very hot/spicy foods will help raise your temperature, detoxify, boost metabolism and burn calories even while you chew!) 
3. Fruits (citrus fruits to be specific)
4. Vegetables (broccoli, celery, carrots, spinach (all greens) to point out the better ones)

A List of Fat Burning foods from various sources:

• Almonds and other nuts (with skins intact)

Build muscle, reduce cravings

• Dairy products (fat-free or low-fat milk, yogurt, cheese)

Build strong bones, fire up weight loss

• Eggs

Build muscle, burn fat

• Turkey and other lean meats

Build muscle, strengthen immune system

• Berries

Improve satiety, prevent cravings

• Enova oil (soy and canola oil)

Promotes fullness, not easily stored as fat

• Peanut butter

Boosts testosterone (a good thing even in women), builds muscle, burns fat

Fatty fish (such as salmon, tuna, mackerel)

Trigger fullness, fire up fat burning

• Grapefruit

Lowers insulin, regulates blood sugar and metabolism; be sure to eat the fleshy white membranes

• Green tea

Fires up fat burning

• Chili peppers

Spikes metabolism

• Spinach and green vegetables

Fight free radicals and improve recovery for better muscle building

• Whole grains (quinoa, brown rice, whole grain cereal)

Small doses prevent body from storing fat

• Beans and legumes 

Build muscle, help burn fat, regulate digestion

• Whey 

 Builds muscle, burns fat

• Apples
• Barley
• Beans
• Berries
• Broccoli
• When you're buying broccoli, pay attention to the color. The tiny florets should be rich green and free of yellowing. Stems should be firm.
• Buckwheat
• Cabbage
• Carrots
• Chicken (baked, grilled, broiled, never ever, ever fried)
• Coffee
• Corn
• Cottage Cheese (low-fat/reduced fat, organic)
• Figs
• Fish (not fried, obviously)
• Grapefruit

• Greens

We're talking collard, chicory, beet, kale, mustard, Swiss chard and turnip greens. They all belong to the same family as spinach, and that's one of the super-stars. No matter how hard you try, you can't load a cup of plain cooked greens with any more than 50 calories. They're full of fiber, loaded with vitamins A and C, and free of fat. You can use them in salads, soups, casseroles or any dish where you would normally use spinach.

• Kiwi
• Leeks
• Lettuce
• Melons

• Mustard

Try the hot, spicy kind you find in Asian import stores, specialty shops and exotic groceries. Dr. Jaya Henry of Oxford Polytechnic Institute in England, found that the amount of hot mustard normally called for in Mexican, Indian and Asian recipes, about one teaspoon, temporarily speeds up the metabolism, just as caffeine and the drug ephedrine do. But mustard is natural and totally safe, Henry says. It can be used every day, and it really works. It can speed up the metabolism by as much as 20 to 25 percent for several hours. This can result in the body burning an extra 45 calories for every 700 consumed, Dr. Henry says.

• Oats
• Onions
• Pasta
• Peppers
• Potatoes
• Rice
• Soups
• Spinach
• Sweet Potatoes
• Tomatoes
• Tofu
• Turkey
• Whole Grain Bread
• Yogurt