This is a ProAna blog, it is not intended to help you get an Eating disorder but help those who already have one!

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Do YOU have Anorexia?

Signs (some are repeated, sorry):


  • Dramatic weight loss for one’s age and height
  • Refusing to eat in public
  • Eating only specific foods- specifically those low in calories and fat
  • Skipping meals often with no explanations
  • Covering the weight-loss by wearing baggy clothing
  • Obsessing over body image
  • Basing self-worth on body image and weight
  • Complaining about being overweight when they are actually underweight
  • (Females only) Missing three or more menstrual periods in a row
  • Avoiding social gatherings where food will be involved
  • Are very afraid of gaining weight.
  • Refuse to stay at a normal weight.
  • Think they are overweight even when they are very thin.
  • life become focused on controlling their weight. 
  • Obsess about food, weight, and dieting.
  • Strictly limit how much they eat.
  • Exercise a lot, even when they are sick.
  • Vomit / use laxatives / water pills (diuretics) to avoid weight gain.
  • Cold feet and cold hands.
  • Constantly counting calories and monitoring food intake.
  • Fasting & starving to lose weight.
  • Constantly looking in mirror/obsessed with your image.
  • Having a hard time eating and feeling guilty when you do.
  • Thoughts of harming yourself after eating.
  • Impulses to binge / purge.
  • Weighing self 4-7 times a day.
  • Anxiety around food, and in food stores.




Dear Mother, Dear Father..



If your an Anorectic (someone suffering from Anorexia) then you, much like I, probably will relate to every single word in this song....


Violent mothers, cheating fathers, leaving lovers....

Do we all have awful, well intentioned parents? 


My mother is--in her own way--Ana. She pushes me to starve, to not eat, to lose weight. 

"I'm absolutely starving, going to eat a bite of something"

"Why eat? You already ate a few bites of my enchilada, you are going to gain weight."

"I have had nothing to eat all day..."

"Well go eat if you must"

"No, it is fine... just never you mind."

So...That day I had just gone without food.

When I lose weight she looks so proud, so fucking proud of me. So happy, and accepting of me as her daughter for once. 

I am just a number, I put every single ounce of my self-worth into my ability to starve and lose weight. 

My Birthday?!?!

Holy mother of Christ, how could it sneak up on me like this?! My birthday is a mere 4 (or 5?) days away and I am freaking out to the fucking max! We always go out to dinner and have a nice big cake swimming with fat and calories...

The fuck am I supposed to do about this predicament? 

Well, I plan on eating a small breakfast and skipping lunch so I won't be so hungry at dinner. I will also (obviously) cut my dinner into halves, eat one half that night, then save the other half for the next day in which I will cut in half again to eat for breakfast and lunch (or just throw it the hell out?)


I also found a cake alternative!! Only 93 calories per serving without icing, 104 calories with it.  



Click that link right above to see it! 


31, July, 2012



Woo!! At around 10 or 11 pm I weighed in at exactly 67.7 KG (149.0 lbs), woke up today and weighed in at 67.2 KG! (148.0 lbs) So I am extremely happy... This diet seems to be working brilliantly for me, as the hunger has become quite comforting again and while it is already 4:05 pm I have not eaten since 7 am (9 hours) and I am still not hungry (well... Hungry but not wanting to eat like at all).

Maybe I will update later (hopefully nothing will change except for my weight!)

Monday, July 30, 2012

The Holidays

Is anyone else already stressing? Like... I am stressing really bad over Thanksgiving and Christmas I am trying to plan ahead like how many calories I can have, what I am going to eat before the feast etc. etc. 

Plus having a severe case of social anxiety disorder (as well as having a somewhat awkward, introverted personality) I am stressing out to the max!

I watched that video and decided to make a pie chart too (the pie chart representing my plate):


Agh it looks like absolute crap! Oh well I tried :) Well this is it, going to have small (they look huge on the chart!) servings of four foods, I will probably have half a serving of each so when I get "seconds" everything will total up to be one serving... I don't know lol probably will have to make a new plan soon. 

The Psychology of a Binge


"The Psychology of a Binge"


"Anorexia at holidays"

(Thanksgiving)

(warning: she is a bit annoying...sorry)

(Christmas)


"How to stop binging at night"



30, July, 2012

Woo! So I am on day 2 of my new diet plan! I sort of messed up yesterday, my hunger sparked out of no where and no matter what I had I was in pain, I ate a total of 800-900 calories....


Today I plan on sticking to my 654 limit no matter how hungry I get! I came this close to eating but my dad saved me (without knowing it) by asking me to unload the dishes. As soon as I finished I ran to my room like all hell had let loose. 

I skipped lunch because I have been really rejecting food, plus I was up all night, I wanted to sleep at least some today :)

I will eat dinner (4 vegan chik'n nuggets) and some Catalina = 290 calories

For breakfast I put chopped broccoli and tomato in a pan and poured 2 egg whites over it and made it into an omelette and just to add the calories I put a slice of cheddar cheese on it. 

So today (after dinner) will total up to 412 calories. 

I plan on just eating the same thing every day this week so I do not have to constantly plan out my effing meals, if you know what I mean. 

I do not think it would be a good idea to fast on this diet until I am used to it though... I know I have lost weight because even with my clothes on I am 149.2 :) 

Can't wait, I have decided to get a treadmill and my dad found one extremely cheap so I am hoping we can get it ASAP 

OH! I also knew this song from drug education in elementary school, I just listened to it today and realized how much I relate to it, but in a different way... maybe you will understand when you listen?


Sunday, July 29, 2012

3 months - 29 lbs Lets do this!


OK, so here it is you follow this plan set up based on your height, weight, and activity level, right? So mine I want to lose 13.1 KG  (29 lbs) in 3 months (yes such a small amount for 3 months) but If I lose 13.1 KG then I will at least be skinny enough to be happy to show myself to my family. I would still have 6 weeks and 3 days until Thanksgiving (when I go see my family) to lose more weight. If I lose 13.1 KG I will be 54.5 KG!! 

  Week  Calories    
1      654           
2      642
3      631
4      619
5      608
6      596
7      585
8      574
9      562
10    551
11   539
12   528

Bear in mind that this diet was set up on the idea that I would be getting no exercise at all except for the occasional walking around, standing etc. (I did this in case I miss a few days of working out, get lazy or whatever) I will hopefully be getting my elliptical or treadmill tomorrow and this will help a lot with my diet plan and hopefully it will help my lose the weight quicker. 



Make your own plan by clicking the link below!!!


Make your own plan by clicking the link above!!!


Attention Everyone!!:

If you have any snack/meal ideas I would appreciate it! I am not used to planning out a xxx amount calorie day, but rather just eating small amounts as I go. 

ALSO!! What is better? Elliptical or Treadmill? 

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Fatty?!



In what fucking world do you live in that you think it is okay to call someone fat? Someone you have never met before, someone you have never even seen before? 

Yes, I got called a fatty over the internet, I know since I don't even KNOW this person I really should not care but...to be completely honest I do care. As a joke, as a petty insult, no matter what it was...it hurt... Fatty is not something you call an Anorexic in any manner.....it hurts.



Friday, July 27, 2012

Tough love: Does it make me mean?

I love my best friend, like... to fucking death, I would give the world to her if I could, she is everything to me. Having said that, it is pretty much common sense, that I would walk on broken glass to ensure her happiness, right? Right.


So why is it I have been walking on fucking egg shells to not hurt her feelings? Because everybody else fucking does. 


She is between 5 foot 4 inches and 5 foot 5 inches and probably weighs between 72 and 77 KG (160-170 pounds) so yes, she is on the heavier side.


I always hear her complain about feeling self conscious, she hates trying on clothes, she wants a boy friend ("that is not fat and ugly"), how she hates how she looks, she is embarrassed by how big her thighs and stomach are, she wants to be able to wear a bikini, blah blah blah. 

Always fucking complaining, never doing anything about it. I ALWAYS try my best to help her, always, always, always and I give her healthy diet tips and healthy workouts to do and give her a healthy set amount of calories to eat (1200-1500) but she always messes up on day 1 and then gives up completely.


I told her she had an eating disorder (binge eating disorder) because she eats when she is not even hungry, she enjoys food in a way that is not healthy (it brings comfort). I did not say this to be mean, I was simply stating a fact. She can't diet, she does not workout, she does not fucking try and I am sick of it and now she is mad at me because I told her not to complain to me anymore because I have tried to help and you don't listen so I don't care anymore. 

I don't personally think I am in the wrong here, I want us to both be in shape and happy by this Thanksgiving (that is if she visits, she lives out of state) but I know she won't be because she doesn't try and no one tells her like it is. I know if I am skinny and happy by then and she isn't she will be extremely jealous and upset as being "chubby" and "loving to eat" (really it is just easier to convince myself to binge when someone else does it with you) was always our biggest "in common" traits. 

27, July, 2012


Inner Nature Girl to the rescue!!! 

So I decided since I have a hard time just straight water fasting, I will smoothie and water fast until I reach my next goal weight of 145 lbs. Right now I am drinking a Apple & Yogurt smoothie because I was absolutely starving. 


I am looking up some recipes for veggie / fruit smoothies so I will probably make a few posts if any of y'all want me to? 


I also figured out a major motivational thing for me, Prom, no I am not the type of girl who dreams of becoming prom queen or who my date will be or all the glamour crap, but it is the only chance I will get to wear the dress of my dreams (until my wedding day of course) without looking like a complete freak (which I do not care about) The dress above is the one I want and I am wanting to be 115-125 before I buy it so I have to work really hard! :) 

Don't trust them!!



There is a fucking difference between "imperfections" and being morbidly obese. No you do not have to way 300 or 400 pounds to be morbidly or just plain old obese, being 20 to 30 pounds over weight is enough to put you in the obese category. If someone says that "having curves" makes you beautiful, tell them to fucking shove it. 


Thursday, July 26, 2012

Fellow Pro Ana/Mia bloggers

Are (or have) y'all got any of those crazy girls coming and saying that you're a murderer and that your blog is disgusting? 

Someone came and she said I was a murderer and all the girls who die from Ana/Mia, their blood is on my hands and that she was reporting my blog? 


I don't care about the other stuff, the girls (and guys) who come here, come at their own free will but should I be worried about being reported?

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

25, July, 2012 (A less pathetic version)

Fucking YES!!!! And I am BACK BABY!!! 


Total calorie intake: 455

Total exercise time: 1:23:00

Total calories burned: 636/560 (I was only supposed to burn 560 but I burned 76 cal. more)

Water intake: 64 ounces (8 cups)

Total intake after working out: 181 calories


Why am I so happy you ask? Because I made it through 20 minutes of Jillian Michaels, and still had enough energy to do a random 3 minute jumping jack & Run-in-place (RIP) workout, 37 minutes of speed walking when it is 92 degrees (F) outside, run 13 minutes straight, and do 10 minutes of high-impact dancing on Zumba!

Why is this so amazing? Because I literally just jumped into all this, so much pain and soreness but I stuck it out. I am proud of myself (even though this does not even come CLOSE to comparing to most everyone else, I think it is a very good "Day 1" workout! :)

25, July, 2012

Several things today that I want to post about!

  •  I made an account on Sparkpeople.com to help me keep better track of everything.
  • I started the "Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred" 20 minute workout. 
  • I decided to document EVERYTHING in a huge 5-subject notebook: weigh-ins, water intake, calorie intake (pills, food, drinks; everything), exercise (this is basically just how many calories I burned). I should have been doing this anyway but I haven't. 
So my intake came up to 377 (I was supposed to be fasting! I am such a fucking pig!) So I decided to workout, I did a pathetic 3:07 (3 minute, 7 second) workout and burned a total of 28.8 calories. Pathetic. So I found Jillian's 30-Day Shred workout video on YouTube and decided what the hell, I will continue my fast every other day, vegan diet and do the 30-day challenge at my own pace, at my own intensity and see what happens. Since calorie intake is so low (because of anorexia, duh) I have to take like 15-20 second breaks so if that affects anything I will let you all know! 


REMEMBER!!

If you are doing workouts like this, you need to stretch or else your muscles will become bulky and you will look big. My weight loss buddy filled me in on this little tip and I appreciate it so-so-so much! 

Tips: Try stretching 30 minutes every day for long, lean muscles
Tips: Try to learn a new yoga pose every day, work on mastering it and then move on to the next pose!


Add my sparkspage? : http://teens.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=JEZEBELMOORE


All this and it is only 9:30 am!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

24, July, 2012

So I woke up this morning, dehydrated and somewhat delusional, yet even still, I crawled my fat ass out of bed and went to the scale. I stared down at the angry red glow of the three numbers I prayed I would and wouldn't see. I was happy it was not 150 but in the same instance I was a short breath from screaming in agony as I saw the numbers:


1 4 9 . 0


Since my binge had been past midnight I cannot really call today a fasting day, though I am fasting. I ate a few bites of cantaloupe to help me take my Green Coffee Extract pills, and now I am drowning myself in the bottles and bottles of water I had grabbed without really even seeing them. I started a to-do list--several actually-- to help my get through the coming days that I am to fast.

Monday, July 23, 2012

23, July, 2012

And so, I am back on the laxative bandwagon in which this series of insufferable binges has forced me to do. I fucking hate myself. I fucking hate the mirror. I fucking hate my life.


HOW could I let myself, of all things, binge?!? MOTHER OF FREAKING CHRIST! 


Argh!! So my laxatives have finally kicked in, I just wen to the bathroom now it is time for more, more, more!!! I want the whole damn bottle to be honest, I want the cramps to make me miserable I deserve to be writhing around in pain for what I have done. 

Sunday, July 22, 2012

The things I hate and love

I do not know why but today my mood has been shifting a lot I keep getting really really depressed, the kind of depressed where you just turn on some music, lay on your bed, cover up and stare at the fucking wall for a few hours. 


Hate...

  • I hate being cold all the time, but at least it burns more calories than warmth...
  • I hate feeling hungry all the time, but it is better than feeling like a fat cow
  • I hate the weird pains I get in my stomach, but at least I know it is not constipation
  • I hate dizzy spells, better that then passing out from over heating 
  • I hate how my heart beats too fast sometimes, at least it isn't clogged with cholesterol..
  • I hate the depression it gives me, at least I am not depressed about getting fatter
  • How much I hate myself for not losing more than 1 lb a day

Love...

  • Losing weight
  • Feeling like I am a part of something
  • feeling my bones

I have not been this depressed in... a long time... Like... I have never seriously considered running away so much in my life and its gotten to a point where I am daydreaming about what I'd pack, where I'd stay each night, who I could and couldn't trust... It is a fucking hell hole inside my head I just want out dammit. I am so scared of being put in a mental hospital (my absolute biggest fear in which my psycho mother has no problem using against me in times of angst) why can't I, for just one day, be truely happy? 



22, July, 2012

Was 147.6 last night and 147.8 this morning....fuck my life...

So today is an eating day I had a cup of minced broccoli, a few bites of whole wheat pasta (the lemon sauce was disgusting!), and chicken (after my last post you might be like, 'what the hell' but I basically grew up on chicken, it is the only meat I actually will eat and I can not just drop it in one day no matter how much it pains me to eat it)


All in all between 200-300 calories

That is a LOT. I took my pills and I am drinking a bottle of water right now, planning on going running tonight.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Earthlings

PRO-ANA OR NOT, PLEASE WATCH THIS IT IS FREE

or here


I have never seen anything worse than the factory to fridge videos until I saw that movie, fuck, I have not made it past 51 minutes yet! I have a VERY soft, sensitive spot for all animals but pigs and pets especially, this video reveals the TRUE cruelty and it will break your heart. I don't give a fuck who you are if you watch this and don't shed a tear or don't feel anything inside you change than you are just as evil and corrupt as the serial killers in this video.

PLEASE SHOW THIS  TO YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY, COWORKERS, AND PUT IT ON YOUR BLOG/FACEBOOK/TWITTER/TUMBLR!! WE NEED TO SPREAD THE WORD AND RAISE AWARENESS, THIS EVIL HAS TO STOP!

21, July, 2012

8 days left in the competition

I am on Day....5? Yes that seems about right. 

Woo! And guess what? Reached 148.4! And I even binged last night (which I am not proud of it had me in tears scared to get on the scale). 

The binge consisted of:

Spinach Souffle - 70 calories
Cooke - 80 calories
Tuna - 50 calories
Cookie - 80 calories
Cookie - 80 calories
Tuna - 50 calories
3 small bites of Chocolate Pecan Pie - 26 calories
a small handful of pecans - 36 calories 

(Not all at once, this binge was spread out through the day!)

So all in all yesterday I had a total of:

472

I thought the number would be bigger? Guess not. Still stayed within my 500 calorie limit so I am happy about that and apparently I did not exceed the carb limit and am still in Ketosis!  

Friday, July 20, 2012

Decent into madness



I told my lovely little--not sure what to call him, we aren't dating but we both know we are really into each other--that I have an eating disorder because there is absolutely no way around it, I would have to tell him eventually or he would find out. He said he felt bad but other than that he accepted it! Did not ridicule me, judge me nor did he try to justify how bad this is for my health, instead he let it go. I love him more than I could ever say, and of course being in the awkward "don't know where this relationship is going" stage I cannot say I love him either way. It just makes me so happy (even though it took me forever and a day to tell him as I was so scared and humiliated!). 


In other news... I am still at 149.0... it is very depressing that I barely dropped today 

Thursday, July 19, 2012

20, July, 2012

Fucking YES!!! I have finally over come my plateau! I have finally, finally, finally dropped below the 150s! I am 149.6 as of right now (12:52am)  :)

______________________________________________________

149.0 this morning. Do any of you sort of... get so high from losing weight you look over the things that it is doing to you? Like the "symptoms" of anorexia sort of? I do not know if it is just me or not but when I start losing weight the pain, the nausea, the coldness, the soreness, the cotton mouth--none of it matters and even death seems way less dramatic as what better way to die than to die because you were: trying to become skinny/were "too" skinny?

Today is an eating day but I really really do not particularly want to go back to eating, but I know I will because the pills I got are to big to take unless I cut them in half and then they kind of dust off before you can swallow and you feel them going down your throat so between the taste and feeling it slide down you will probably gag. 

So I finished off the spinach souffle and what was left after I took my pills I gave to my dogs. I am so hoping to be 147 by the end of the day! I am planning on drinking 4-6 bottles of water as with these pills you lose weight through your pee! At least that is a theory my weight loss buddy and I are trying to prove :)

A diet with no bullarcky

(My lousy attempt at making a cute diet picture)

The Diet:

Rules

  • You will be water fasting every other day (there will be either 2 fasting or eating days in a row)
  • on the days you eat you cannot exceed 500 calories
  • the food you eat on eating days must be healthy/low calorie (try to stick to veggies/veggie based meal)
  • You need to drink a LOT of water, a lot a lot a lot or you WILL become dehydrated and have cotton mouth
  • AVOID CARBS!!! Or at the very least do NOT exceed 30-40g of carbs on eating days! This is a *major* thing that will affect your weight loss significantly 

What you need:

GREEN COFFEE EXTRACT DIETARY PILLS (with or without green tea, it is not a big deal but if you want to get the pills "with green tea" just in case go ahead, that is what I did)


My schedule:

Sunday: Eat
Monday: Fast
Tuesday: Fast
Wednesday: Eat
Thursday: Fast
Friday: Eat
Saturday: Fast

On this diet (whilst taking the pills) I have lost 3.4 lbs in 3 days with little to no exercise except fast-pace walking.

TIP: I NEVER exceeded 500 calories on eating days and there was only one eating day where I ate between 300-400 calories and it was a Spinach Souffle. 

TIP: I recommend having two fasting days in a row versus two eating days (no matter how low calorie the food is)

TIP: Based on observation you lose around the same amount of weight at the same amount of time rather you workout or not on this diet, unless you are biking/running (doing major cardio) with added stretching then working out will probably do nothing but wear you out and cause you to binge. 


19, July, 2012

Woo! Weighed in at 150.8!! That is a total loss of 2.8 lbs in 2 days with little to no exercise except fast-pace walking!!

I can't wait to do a before and after shot and show you all!!
___________________________________________________________


Completely unrelated, I am in the process of getting my parents to buy me two female rats for my birthday! I usually only get money on my birthday and a lot of it since my family feels bad fro never getting to see me and making no effort to talk to me so yeah, I have decided I will put forth everything to help pay for the rats and if I get 100$+ then I will just pay for everything. On top of that I have been making my parents feel guilty by cleaning and giving them the angry/depressed silent treatment (I am such a brat sometimes lol) hopefully one of them will break and allow me to get my babies!

I am going to name the two females Trista (Meaning 'Sorrow') and Turaya (Meaning 'Star'). The names are a bit unusual but I really like them, they suit my Gothique lifestyle really well! :)

_____________________________________________________________


** Attention**

Please visit my weight loss buddy's blog!!

http://hunger-is-a-virtue.blogspot.com/

I would really appreciate it :) Thank you to those that do! ^_^

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

18, July, 2012

11 days left 

I am at 151, it is so exciting! Today is an "eating day" (I fast every other day) and I have only had about 36-67 calories because I took a few bites of a Clif Bar Chocolate Chip and threw the rest away.
_____________________________________________


I got a spinach soufflé and ate either 1/2 or a little over 1/2 of it and that was probably about 375 calories. So today's total calorie count summed up would be: 442. Yes, I am ashamed but I figure (now at least) that the pills will help me burn those calories in no time as they are metabolism enhancers, and lastly, since I will be fasting tomorrow again I will lose around 2+ lbs instead of 1+lbs because I jump started my metabolism again.


_____________________________________________

PILLS:

The pills I got are AMAZING and it should be illegal for everyone not to have a life supply. I love love love them!! The only side effect I have noticed while taking them on an empty stomach (this is Day 2 taking them) is a slight headache on the first day, and then your appetite rages--which so far both days I have taken them (one on empty stomach and one with a few bites of a bar) my hunger has been amazing!--the hunger pains may be tough to deal with for some, so just a fair warning! 

_____________________________________________


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Weird weight loss

Ah it is weird! At 10pm exactly I was 152.6 I had dropped a full pound, but now I am 151.8 I dropped .8 of a pound in exactly an hour! Mmgh I am going to have to update my blog a LOT or just write it all down so I can make a long post later... I am so freaking HAPPY!!!

_____________________________________________



Already at 151.4 :) I am so... there are no words! It is such a rush to be dropping to quickly and I am starting to feel smaller (not significantly by my stomach is flatter because it has had a chance to "debloat")


_____________________________________________


Yay!!! 151 exactly! I am so close to breaking the "150+" barrier and being in the 140s it is not even funny! :)

17, July, 2012

So the pills I got: 


"THIN TAB GREEN COFFEE EXTRACT with green tea" 
(only 10$ including the tax)

Needless to say it has only been a day and I can tell they are working! (Keep in mind that they only boost your metabolism and support weight loss, they do not burn fat!) The recommended dose is 2, twice a day, I only took 2 once today as I only got one bottle and 30 are in one bottle and that will only last 15 days! (But they are cheap so it is OK)

Anyway, they definitely made me super hungry (today was a fasting day so I could not eat). 

TIP: YOU CAN TAKE THESE ON AN EMPTY STOMACH THE WORST THAT HAPPENED WAS A MINOR HEADACHE AND SOME HUNGER PAIN!  

But basically I feel great, I have tons of energy even though I only got two hours of sleep! (I took the pills after sleeping).

I really do not care to eat, I am so ready to lose weight!! 

Yes this is a *very* long post!


GOALS

Me and my weight loss buddy are competing for the next 12 days to see who can lose the most weight!

My starting weight was 153.6 as of now (10:00pm) it is 152.6
  • Get down to 140 (a total loss of 13.2 lbs)
  • Get down to 130-125 by my birthday (A total loss of 23.2/28.2 lbs in a matter of 19 days)
That second one seems unreasonable and unreachable I know, but if I am aiming to lose that much then I will lose a lot as opposed to only trying to lose 10-15lb (it works the same way with dieting if I tell myself I am fasting I eat way less like 50 calories or less a day, as opposed to trying to eat 100-200 calories a day)

Wish me luck!! 

Monday, July 16, 2012

16, July, 2012

Hey girls and guys! Been a while since I posted (or so it seems to me)! 

My new meal plan:

I will eat a high fiber meal for breakfast (Clif Bar Chocolate Chip)

Yes, it looks like crap but they taste GREAT! I love them, very sweet and chewy and they do not make you want a nice big glass of anything to get the taste out of your mouth, in fact it makes you want another!


Kind of high in calories but I am not eating anything else in the day (I'll explain in a minute!)


OK, so when you first wake up your body is just starting to get moving again, right? Right. So within the first two or so hours of being awake you need a HEALTHY meal! Because this is when your metabolism is at its highest point! 

So this is what I will be doing:

Eating a "Chocolate Chip Clif Bar" for breakfast and I will eat nothing for the rest of the day, if I *do* get too hungry I will have carrots or tuna (plain, stored in water) and I will not eat after 5pm but I will make sure my last meal/snack is before 3pm. 

ALSO!!!

I will be fasting every other day! I will be drinking nothing but ice cold water on this diet. And lastly, I will be taking the diet pill I just posted about the Health Green Coffee Bean pill, something like that :)




Weight loss pill that actually works?!

Agh! Hell has finally frozen over my loves! I have found a weight loss pill that DOES work! It was on Dr Oz, and there were absolutely no negative reviews anywhere! I am actually buying some tonight and I will be dieting on top of that so if they work I will let you know as I will most likely document my progress! 


Pure Health Green Coffee Bean







Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Chia Seeds

Have you ever wanted there to be a food that was low calorie, healthy, small, but fills you up? 

Well look no further there is such a thing! 


(that is a link to a page that talks all about them!!)

They are high in fiber and many other things! You can do so much with them as they have no flavour! Put them in water and they make a calorie-free gel! They expand in your stomach to give the appearance of eating, without actually eating! 

Anyway they are absolutely profound! A true gift from Ana herself! Best part of all they are CHEAP! 

Thank you for reading :) Have a lovely day ^_^


A MAJOR THANK YOU TO MY AMAZING WEIGHT LOSS BUDDY FOR THIS TIP!! :D


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

10, July, 2012

~Blinded by rage, susceptible to fear, longing to be free~

I seem to live by this quote and nothing else. 


I am on day 1 of my fast (because my initial fast was ruined) it gives me chills when I see all the Ana/Pro-Ana blogs, when I read from the thoughts of a fellow Ana-follower.

I am writing a "novel" about my journey through this 21-day fast, basically it is not only a journey through a fast but a journey in the mind of an anorexic? It should be interesting... 

I am not hungry, only sore and cold. Oh so very, very sore! It hurts to sit straight and to even cough,  I am miserable, but hopefully my abs will be back to normal tomorrow, and then I will push them--yet again--as hard as I can. 

Monday, July 9, 2012

9, July, 2012

Grr I have to restart my fast as my dad forced me to eat this shrimp scampi crap! I will be restarting tomorrow though and this time I will try to leave evidence that I already ate as I haven't been doing so out of pure laziness. 


Anyways, due to a comment I have gotten I decided to make this post on staying 

FOCUSED FOCUSED FOCUSED FOCUSED FOCUSED


While fasting! 



Fasting is really a personal thing, you need to have your own motives for fasting, your own positive mindset, and your own routine. 


In order to stay focused on your goals follow these tips:

  • keep a journal to document your thoughts, pains, cravings, everything. You should write in it every day several times a day if you can! You should start off by writing your motives (reasons) for fasting, write down why you need to prove to yourself that you can make it through a fast, and write down how you'd feel if this fast brought you to your goal weight.

  • Take a picture everyday or do a video log, this way you can document your weight loss through image and not only numbers and inches! This should keep you well motivated to continue!

  • Always, always, always stay busy! No matter what you must do if it is cleaning after the dogs, doing home work, cleaning your house/room, or even alphabetizing all your movies (I did this and it is actually quite fun), but whatever you choose to do, do it slowly and thoughtfully to drag it out, you do not ever want to be just sitting and doing nothing while fasting unless you are stretching, meditating or praying.

If you feel I have missed something then please feel free to comment below with your thoughts! :) 

Have a lovely day! 

Sunday, July 8, 2012

7, July, 2012

So I am starting my fast today, I will set the official time at 7PM instead of 5PM as I usually go to bed around 8 or 9 anyway. I am so excited! I really do miss fasting and being hungry and not eating, all in all I miss ANA. I miss my old music in which I went 3 weeks without... I am so ready to get back on track. 


How are you guys doing? ^_^ I hope you are doing better than I am! And don't worry, if you mess up one day there is always one million and one exercises you can do to fix it ;D 

Love you all lots!!! :D

Friday, July 6, 2012

6, July, 2012

Well I have decided that I will once again try to fast. I will wait until Sunday however because I always jump into it and then mess up, so all of Saturday I will eat as little as possible and get back into my workout routine as for a while there I simply gave up on weight loss and succumbed to simply never leaving my room but no more! 



Sunday, July 1, 2012

I'm Baaack

My friend left yesterday having been here 3 weeks... I was crying all night and even slept in the living room because sleeping in my room would only remind me that she is gone and it will be a whole year before I see her again. 


Did I lose weight? Hell no. I got Zumba 2 it is amazing you burn like 30 calories in 7 minutes! I plan to make that my main workout as it does not require strength only stamina. 

So depressed that my friend is gone... On the bright side I can finally come back to the world I love with all of my heart. I have not been able to starve myself or workout as my friend always had a headache, was too tired, or wanted to eat in which she always dragged me into. 


So anyways back into my old routine I go and that makes me so happy I was feeling very disgusting and like a needed a long long shower after so many binges... I mean I ate a fucking smart one meal that is 300 calories for ONE meal! God I am such a cow I can barely squeeze into my skinny jeans.

Over the course of the three weeks I have gained about 2 1/2 pounds
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