More Excuses

Reasons why you're losing weight:

• "School/work is stressing me out lately that is all" 
• "It's the birth control/antidepressant they've got me on! I swear this stuff is the worst"
• "I have a cold, I am getting over it now though so I should be able to enjoy all the grub I want again!"
• "I had a big breakfast/late breakfast/big lunch/late lunch" 
• "Oh don't worry I ate before I came! Thanks though!"
•  "Can I wrap that up for later? I just had a huge binge fest on ____"
• "I'm actually going to pick something up on the way"
• "I'm going out for lunch/dinner"
• "I'm going out with friends so don't wait up!" 
• "I've got this really big paper in English due tomorrow, can I eat in my room just this once to finish?" 
• "I don't like _______"
• "I am allergic to _________"
• "________ makes my stomach hurt really bad for some reason."
• "I've got the worst headache, please the smell of it alone is making me sick!"
• "I swear it is all the running they have us do in gym, they work us like dogs!" 
• "What are you talking about? I am naturally thin!"
• "Uh maybe it is because I have a fast metabolism?"
• "Fuck off and stop worrying about my eating habits?"
• "Slow metabolism, ate a late breakfast so I won't be hungry until dinner!" 

TIPS:

• Drink diet fizzy drinks whenever possible, it fills you up and also causes slight bloating to make it look like you just ate.
• Drink lots of water and wear layers to add weight when you go to the doctor (if possible wear boots)
• Wear baggy clothes to hide weight loss 
• Celery is basically like eating air so eat it when hungry/before weigh-ins at the doctor
• Pretend to be bloated and have a tummy ache when you wake up in the morning and say "no more late night binges" this might get you out of breakfast.
• Grab a breakfast bar/apple and take a bite as you walk out the door and spit it out outside.
• Walk/Run everywhere, do lunges while you watch TV, bounce your leg when sitting
• Have a "cheat" day every month and focus on that every time you want to give in, if you give in you get no reward on cheat day (by cheat I mean bran muffin or something)

DO NOT FUCKING BRAG ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS OR YOUR DIET TO ANYONE!

EVEN IF YOU ARE "FAT" RIGHT NOW. 

ONE DAY YOU WILL BE THIN AND PEOPLE WILL BEGIN TO WORRY AND REMEMBER ALL THE CRASH DIETS YOU'VE DONE