If your an Anorectic (someone suffering from Anorexia) then you, much like I, probably will relate to every single word in this song....
Violent mothers, cheating fathers, leaving lovers....
Do we all have awful, well intentioned parents?
My mother is--in her own way--Ana. She pushes me to starve, to not eat, to lose weight.
"I'm absolutely starving, going to eat a bite of something"
"Why eat? You already ate a few bites of my enchilada, you are going to gain weight."
"I have had nothing to eat all day..."
"Well go eat if you must"
"No, it is fine... just never you mind."
So...That day I had just gone without food.
When I lose weight she looks so proud, so fucking proud of me. So happy, and accepting of me as her daughter for once.
I am just a number, I put every single ounce of my self-worth into my ability to starve and lose weight.
My mother is the same. She used to look at me with such disgust, but when I started poising weight she became more nicer to me but she still urges me to loose weight.
ReplyDeleteSomehow I wish my mom would push me to lose weight instead of forcing me to eat or offering me food all the time...
ReplyDelete