Okay so I figure if I completely humiliate myself by being honest here, then I will be able to stop my disgusting habits!
Last night (only a few hours ago, since it is midnight now) my dad cooked gumbo which he does not do often so my mom made me eat some (with a side of rice, BLEGH!) Anyway, so about 30 minutes after eating that I had a scoop of vanilla and chocolate ice-cream with some caramel... voluntarily.... about an hour an a half later I had MORE!! Then at like 11:12-11:40 something I was snacking on Sweet and Salty mix snacks (I took the raisins out though)... so disgusted by myself! Probably totaled up to around 1000 something calories... fucking kill me... I prayed to God (Christian) asking exactly this:
"Lord, let me lose this weight and keep it off, let me reach my ultimate goal weight and lead a healthier lifestyle so that I may have a greater influence over my mother and sister-friend in order to change their lifestyles as well.. let my metabolism speed up so that I may reach my ultimate goal weight by Thanksgiving."
Such a selfish and pointless prayer I know, but immediately after I went and weighed myself 150.8, I drank a bottle and a half of water went to the bathroom twice (have not gone in a few days) and weighed myself, 149.6
I honestly believe he is taking mercy on me and helping me lose my weight quickly enough so that I can get back to where I was and continue...
Maybe I am just completely insane to some of you but I don't care xD
Anyway I will start and finish this fasting diet if it is the last thing I ever do! gum gum gum gum gum gum :)
We all mess up somtimes.
ReplyDeleteIve only lost 5 kilos and two weeks and I fuck up every 3 days, my boyfriend ALWAYS buys pizza and isnt happy untill I eat some . . .i feel terrible after, like really horrible but i dont want to disappoint him.
I feel even worse cos I acctually like eating pizza.
Its ok to mess up, you will get there in the end <3