5/31/12

BLARGH! I feel I have been separating from my blog *tear tear*

My friend will be here in a week so excited....

I am ashamed...more than that I am...there is no word for what I am, I...I am scum and not the scum on the bottom of your shoe, no. I am the scum on the bottom of a rats foot... :(

I have been binging and not working out! I have not even felt guilty!! Of course I cussed myself out, called myself names and pulled on my hair but I didn't stop myself or try to diet or restrict! I am SICKENED I deserve to die! 

I will diet and restrict as much as possible and when I am not doing that I will fast. 

Low Cal. Sweet Treat

Find the lowest calorie, healthiest butter that you can.

Get some low calorie tortillas.

Get either brown sugar or cinnamon sugar.

Prepare:

Step 1: Rub (not spread) butter all over the tortilla, then put a small amount of butter in the middle of the tortilla, heat up in the microwave until the butter is melted. Tilt the plate around until the butter has dripped all over the tortilla.

Step 2: sprinkle the sugar(s) onto the tortilla evenly, when satisfied roll the tortilla up and let cool for a minute or two.

Done, and ready to enjoy!

5/23/12

I love this picture, this is exactly what I want to look like. 

Let us see I have had 300 calories today total and that is all I will be eating for the day.




DAILY TIPS:

I find that when I feel especially fat, I don't want to eat and it makes it much easier to not binge.
Try wearing unflattering clothes (tight, too small, the wrong colour for your skin tone, etc.) You can doll yourself up just make sure you feel ugly (body wise). Try messing with your scale (if it is not digital) to make it a higher number when you step on, set it on 5lb instead of 0 so it adds 5 lb pushing you to feel fat and lose more weight.


I feel particularly disgusting today, I do not even want to move. The feeling of my clothes tight against my skin is making me sick along with seeing my fat legs in these shorts. I hate myself.  I am just full blown DISGUSTED with myself!!