9, Sept., 2012

I am actually really, really hungry but it is so easy to turn food down

I have gotten much better at fasting when I am determined/happy

another thing.... quite irrelevant but I have slowly begun to lose interest in the love of my life, simply put--I think I am a lesbian. 

In other news, who likes my playlist? :D I adore it, all the music!! Ugh it makes me so happy listening to all the songs, keeps me from eating too.

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Continuation of fasting... yes... I am prepared to stop drinking water if that is what it takes but I must not leave this room! D:

BINGE BINGE BINGE BINGE

Why do I never stop?! Right when I am back on track and can finally move forward again, I fucking SCREW EVERYTHING UP! 

and I swear my dad came in saying dinner was ready (after I had privately, mentally agreed I would continue fasting) and that it was my favourite: Stir fry fried rice with vegetables...

I don't want it!!!!! >:O

I have my crystal charged with my intent (to lose weight) so that every time I see it, touch it, think about it my appetite literally vanishes and I get too happy to eat (it actually does work when I remember to use it)

(yes that is really what I look like when I am holding my crystal and envisioning myself as thin)

4, Sept. 2012

On day 2 of my 21 day fast and I am finally 145.6 again! 

So stressed out my school work just keeps piling on top of me and now I have converted back to Pagan (I am a Druid of 4 years) I rededicated myself and I have to remake my book of shadows in which is a lengthy and consuming process in which I literally will spend 12 hours in front of my computer working on because it is very important to me and a holiday is coming up and I need it finished (at least the basic sections)!