Pizza

Dominos, how you tempt me so

No, I most certainly do not want a 150 calorie per slice piece of pizza, even if it does have spinach and feta cheese as toppings, even if it does smell really good. I refuse to throw all my hard work down the drain for a few seconds of pleasure in which will ultimately lead to me feeling guilty, fat and disgusting and thus me awake all night once more to work off the damage in which has been done. So no I say, I do not want a slice of your fattening pizza!

Oh because I know, pizza, what you have in store for me! Yes, you will only make me fat and bitter, you will only make me binge and hate myself more! You are truly evil to do that! To do this to my body:

Well I don't want to look like that! I would much rather starve and turn the other way so that one day I will reach my goal weight and look like this:

So no, I do not want a slice of pizza.

Cravings, and curbing that appetite!

All right, so I found out that by drinking crystal light (energy, peach mango flavour) you can not only stop hunger, but also cravings when water fasting. Though you really are not supposed to do this on water fasts, it is better to do this than just completely fuck up and eat. It is only 5 calories and gives you energy boost to work out longer, one packet per water bottle and lasts you like all day! I promise if you have not tried it you will love it and not regret it at all! Those 5 calories are so worth it because they save you from the potential hundreds. 

Drink up!!

No more mess ups: Fasting

I keep fudging up, but no more, I will be fasting 22 days (added a day for punishment) and I will post every time I need to as when I post, I lose all desire to eat or binge or cheat or what ever, it helps me and so I do not care if people actually read these particular posts but it does not matter they are not particularly for you but for myself, I fudged up tonight and now I feel sicker than sick, 2 biscuits, 1 can of tuna, 1 balance bar, half a bottle of crystal light water, spaghetti noodles with peanut sauce and Parmesan cheese on top---Yeah a lot and I deserve the sickness and pain, I completely fucked up and I don't know what happened... No I will tell you what happened I turned the gosh damn lights out because when it is dark I don't have to see myself or what I am eating and therefore in my mind that makes it OK, makes it like the calories won't effect me..but they still exist and they still effect me...no use worrying over it now, I will be fasting and if I fail... I am deleting this blog, deleting my profile on ever ProAna site, and leaving myself at Ana's mercy as I let myself starve.