I'm so beyond sick of school and my family;
I am in so much pain from not being able to cry , I have to literally schedule out times for when I can break down and cry. Most people think that is ridiculous, i mean... who the heck can decide when to and when not to break down..?
Me. Apparently.
I have got about a month's worth of late work in one of my classes, 7 classes total that I am struggling with (and I must make A's and B's or I will fail), and in just a couple weeks I have to pay $50.00 and drive to a building a city away and take the ACT, a big test (most other states take the SAT).
When I try to explain how stressed I am, my mother simply says:
"Well...get it done, you spend all day sleeping or on your computer, you should be studying."
She is literally home for an hour maybe two hours before she goes to sleep, she then wakes up and goes to work. She is never home during the day to know what I do.
I am so fucking sick... I just want to leave, but that would get me arrested and possibly detained.
So, yeah.
Fuck you America!
Thank G-d for Adderall though, right? Without that I think I'd probably just break right now.
I have no idea if what I'm going to say will help, but this will get better. Before you know it, it'll be over, you'll hit your 20s and the reigns of your life will be in your hands. But until then, totally make room for yourself to break down and cry, it's the most cathartic thing to do. Sometimes I'll be in bed, during a stressful period and to snap myself out of it, I think of a situation or a scenario that would make me cry (I have several that I can count on to make me upset).
ReplyDeleteAnd just breathe. You haven't lost control <3