My day

So started my fast last night at 9:30pm

and decided to stay in bed and sleep all day until 9:30pm tonight for obvious reasons of my not wanting to get any funny ideas.

BUT WAIT

At 2:00pm my father unlocks my door with a toothpick and waltz's in with a carton of half a cheese steak sandwich, the entire bottom filled with fries and one medium sized fried shrimp. 

It was only half the sandwich: 301

and the shrimp: 64

cookie: 160 (post-binge guilt "Might as well go all the way")

Total: 525

sigh, I can't wait to move out to starve in peace!

I restarted the fast as of 3:30pm 

Okay..

I just would like everyone to know:

I am definitely not an angry, raving, sociopath here in the real world! 

I am actually pretty calm and rather shy and have a guilt complex over anything and everything 

My bouts of anger on here are purely that of a teenage tantrum and nothing more...

I did a no-no with my mother tonight, we bought...PIZZA

Type:

Regular cheese

Garlic bread 14" (large) 

Alfredo sauce instead of red

Toppings:

>provolone 

> Philly steak

>Spinach

and a side of garlic and butter bread bites....

I had 2 (or 3?) slices so about 600-900 calories....

And earlier today I had a fruity smoothie homemade and that was probably about mm 210 but all of the fruit used promotes weight loss and are fiber and natural laxatives--SO, that was basically an okay-zone food for me. 

I will have no pizza tomorrow, and try to throw out 1-2 slices a day until it is gone 

Ugh.. If only family were disposable

I am so sick and tired of this new persona my father has decided to taken on.

A new casino is being built so like 1/2 the workers have left the casino my dad works at to go apply there so he is having to work longer, get more work and cover for equivalents on their off days even if that means working extra. 

On top of this we have like no money. Zip. Zilch. And it is all my mother's fault, she has a gambling addiction and just quit both of her jobs, she makes me feel like sh*t for even being related to her.

Right, so his new persona,,

understandably my dad is under a lot of stress, but he is always on the computer doing something of "importance" and I swear to fucking Satan if he tells me to "shut up" "stop yelling" "be quiet" or groans whenever I talk/play with my dogs I will burn this house down. He infuriates me to no end!

You don't understand.

I have been on top of the house for quite some time, no one fucking tells me to shut up, its rude and he is not going to treat me like a god d*** dog. 

I can't wait for him to wither away and just die. 

He is an a**hole to me now and I can't stand it.

The worst part is the fact that he is leaving this casino to work at the new one hoping he will be paid more there..

F***ING H*LL HOW STUPID ARE YOU?

EVERYONE will be working there, if anything you will be paid LESS, they don't NEED you!!!

Grow a freaking pair and ask for a raise or you will walk, the casino he is at now cannot afford to lose a worker like him, not only would he get a raise they would probably offer him a promotion to get him to stay. 

They are desperate, but he is too much of a little girl to ask for anything. 

Cannot wait to move out, my mom even has a sense of humour! She said the other day, "You know nothing says you have to move out at 18." 

HaHAAHahaHAHAHAHAHAHA---How about no?